


Someone Else's War

by sunshineflying



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Echoes of Canon, F/M, Nightmares, Predatory Snoke, Smuggler Ben Solo, That's Not How The Force Works, hyperdrive problems, i am clearly not a mechanic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 23:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineflying/pseuds/sunshineflying
Summary: The tale of infamous smuggler Ben Solo and his desperate attempts to sweet-talk his way into the good graces of Rey of Jakku, so he can leave the planet and start making his way towards Cloud City. Rey is having none of it, but the two end up on an adventure across the galaxy, anyway. Starring all our beloved Star Wars sequel trilogy characters (for the most part), and a whole slew of the same events, but caused by different things, and often handled a little differently than in canon.Written for the 2018 Reylo Charity Anthology.





	Someone Else's War

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to Christa and Eli for their help beta reading this. I hope you all enjoy <3

“Nice ship.”

Rey looked up sharply. Conversations that started out that way usually ended with Rey whacking someone a few times with her staff. She adjusted the strap of it over her shoulder and responded brusquely, “Your point?”

She’d bartered and gambled the ship away from the junkyard slaver Unkar Plutt on Jakku, the most recent spoils of her newfound manipulation skills — and right up there with the day she’d successfully bargained for her freedom.

“You know where it came from?”

Rey narrowed her eyes. She knew men like this: the tall, strong ones with a cocky sparkle in their eye and a hand on their belt buckle. _Smugglers_. This wasn’t her first run-in with this type of guy. 

She shrugged. “It’s a Corellian model. But aside from that, who cares?”

The man scoffed. “Who’d you win it from?” he challenged.

Rey pointedly began trudging through the sand, away from her ship and this annoying man. She didn’t like the way his dark eyes drank her in like she was water in the middle of the desert — but she’d use it to lure this smuggler as far away from her ship as possible. “Unkar Plutt. Who stole it from the Irving Boys, who stole it from Ducain.”

“Who stole it from me.”

Rey barked out harsh laughter. “That won’t work on me, flyboy.”

He stopped in the sand, crossing his arms over his chest. When he did, the v-neck of his shirt opened just a little wider, revealing toned pecs if Rey would deign to turn around. “There are gold dice hanging in the cockpit and pieces of Wookiee fur on every kriffing surface.”

Rey froze in place. When she spun on her heel, she looked equal parts livid and curious. “Who the _hell_ are you?”

“I’m Ben Solo.”

“Related to Han Solo?”

Smugly, Ben nodded. He didn’t shirk under Rey’s calculating gaze; in fact, he flexed his muscles just a little, hoping to begin to sway her, to get into her good graces. But instead, Rey replied critically, with a hint of annoyance, “You really couldn’t come up with anything better to do than become a smuggler like your father?”

“Oh, like a scavenger is any better?”

Defensively, Rey swung her staff off of her shoulder and pointed it across at Ben. “Be careful what you say next,” she warned dangerously, taking a step closer to him.

Ben laughed, undeterred by her tone. He was really testing his boundaries with her; the point of her staff _hurt_ where it pressed against his sternum. “My other option would have been to become a dark knight like my grandfather. Would you rather the galaxy had another Darth Vader?”

Now it was Rey’s turn to laugh. “You? The next Darth Vader? Yeah right.”

It took Ben a moment to recover as his hands dropped to his sides and he looked a little hurt by her quick dismissal. 

Rey seemed to have rendered this smooth-talking man speechless for just a moment, and her chest swelled with pride. She didn’t have time for whatever he wanted, anyway. Anything a smuggler might want, she knew she was too busy to deal with.

“So,” he swiftly changed the subject, regaining his composure. “You leaving Jakku anytime soon?”

As she spun around, turning her back to Ben once more, Rey settled her staff over her shoulder. “Why does it matter to you?” she quipped, turning to speak over her shoulder to him as she trudged on ahead. There were only a few hours of sunlight left, and she had things that needed to be done.

“Well you see,” Ben explained, jogging to catch up to her, to walk by her side. “I need to get off this planet.”

“Wow, I’ve never heard that one before.” Rey’s voice was monotonous; she was bored with whatever this flyboy wanted, and she was impervious to his charms. “How did you get _on_ this planet?”

“A friendly ship owner, not unlike yourself. But he wasn’t nearly as pretty. He had three eyes, for one thing…”

Rolling her eyes, Rey shook her head. “You know, that is the opposite of what you should say to me if you’re trying to get me to do you a favor.”

“Okay, okay noted. No compliments,” Ben nodded, trying to recover from his unknown misstep. “Well then how about this? Since this ship still _technically_ belongs to me, the least you can do is fly me a few places. Then I won’t tell my dad you have it, he won’t come after you, and you can live out the rest of your days alone on boring old Jakku.”

“Or what?”

As they reached the edge of town, Rey turned to look at Ben once more. She squinted up at him, the setting sun glaring in her eyes. If she shook him here, then she could go home, he wouldn’t know where she lived, and she’d never have to see him or his dark, swoopy hair ever again.

“Huh?” he asked stupidly.

“If I still say no,” she clarified. “What will you do then?” Rey was a little irritated; he didn’t seem to be very bright.

Ben flashed a big, toothy smile. He wasn’t conventionally handsome, but he looked better than most of the men (or women, for that matter) that Rey saw around the planet. Rey could see how his smile might work on most people. But she was from Jakku, and she had learned a lot about resisting false charm and shallow bargains.

“I’ll just keep trying.”

Rey narrowed her eyes, and then had an idea. She focused her thoughts, stood a little taller, and let an aura of calmness overtake her, just like she did whenever she bargained with Plutt. “You will not follow me.”

Ben’s expression faltered for a moment, but then his eyes went dull and he repeated, “I will not follow you.”

It was working. Pleased, Rey added, “You will go into the city and ask for help there.”

Again, Ben echoed, “I will go into the city and ask for help there.”

To end her command, Rey finished with, “And you will not seek me out again.”

“And I will not seek you out again.”

Rey relaxed her posture and took a deep breath. She’d celebrated the day she’d learned that trick. Usually she just angrily barked orders, but the day she learned that she’d have better luck if she adopted that incredibly calm demeanor was a game changer.

“Goodbye, Ben Solo,” she said, extending her hand to him.

He smirked before shaking her hand. “Goodbye…?”

“Rey.”

Ben gave her hand a firm, warm shake, and Rey pointedly ignored the shiver that shot down her spine and the way his eyes raked up and down her body. “Goodbye, Rey.”

Satisfied with her instructions, Rey released his hand and walked directly into a crowd. The sooner she lost Ben Solo, the better. Smugglers were far more trouble than they were worth.

The very next day, as she sat in the city’s center sipping on the refreshing water she’d bought from the only water stand in Niima Outpost, Rey’s stomach dropped.

_Ben Solo._

He sauntered over to her, hands in his pockets and his shirt half-unbuttoned underneath his dark vest. The mere sight of him infuriated Rey to no end. “What are you doing here?” she shouted once he was within earshot.

“You told me to go into the city,” he shrugged. “So I did.”

Bitterly, she snapped, “I wanted you to leave me alone.”

He held out his hand, making as though he were going to steal her cup, but Rey retracted her hand. She refused to share, especially with cocky smugglers like Ben Solo. 

“It’s not like I knew you’d be here,” Ben continued, feigning innocence again. “It’s a small city. A town, really. Village, if you want to be pedantic.”

Rey continued to glare.

“Look, I think it’s fate,” Ben continued, gesturing to himself with the best innocent expression he could manage as he sat across from her. “We keep crossing paths. It’s the galaxy telling us we’re meant to work together.”

“I don’t work for free.”

Ben nodded. “Sure. Of course. I understand.” He seemed to know the right thing to say in every situation, but he wasn’t going to be able to change her mind. Rey could dig her heels in with the best of them. “When you get me where I need to go, I can give you more credits than you’re going to know what to do with.”

Boredly, Rey replied, “Doubtful.”

“Look. Just get me to Cloud City. You’ll like it there. You work hard, I can tell. You’ve earned a vacation.”

Rey fixed the strongest glare she could muster on him. He was persistent, and it was irksome. “The answer is no,” she replied flatly. “Find another way.”

She stood and, quite literally, left him behind in the dust.

Mostly out of spite, Rey didn’t try to track down Ben Solo when the very next day she was given a delivery job that would take her closer to Cloud City. He was annoying, not to mention the fact that he was a grown man who could get himself from place to place on his own if he’d just get his act together. If a lowly scavenger from Jakku could find her way around the galaxy, surely so could a smuggler descended from greatness.

Alone in the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_ , Rey took off, reveling in the satisfaction she always felt when she left Jakku. She was so tempted to stop going back, but her parents wouldn’t be able to find her if she did that. They’d left her behind many, many years ago, but they’d be back.

One day.

Once that initial elation of takeoff wore off, though, Rey got a sinking feeling in her gut that she wasn’t alone, and that something wasn’t quite right. All the screens in the cockpit indicated that there were no other ships in sight, so the only other option was a stowaway passenger.

Brow furrowed, Rey put the ship on auto and wandered out into the main deck. As she walked, her sense of not being alone ebbed and flowed, until she found herself standing outside the door to the rear cargo hold.

Armed with her blaster, Rey whipped the door open.

“Woah! Hey now! Stand down!”

Rey didn’t lower her blaster. She held her stance, never wavering even as Ben Solo stood up, ducking his head in the cramped compartment, holding up his hands in surrender. “I told you to leave me alone,” Rey warned, jabbing the blaster out towards him. She kept it aimed at his chest, pressed right at the seam of the stupid ragged v-neck shirt he wore.

“You _also_ told me to figure out a way off the planet on my own. So I did.”

Angrily, Rey shouted, “You broke onto my ship!”

“Nobody knows this ship quite like my dad and I,” Ben replied. “It _does_ belong to us, remember?”

“It’s _mine_ ,” she seethed.

Ben lowered his arms. If Rey was going to shoot him, she would have done it already. Instead, he chose to completely change the subject. “So. Where are we going?”

Rey put her blaster back in her back holster and said, “I’m dropping you off on the nearest planet. If you’re lucky, it’ll be inhabited.”

She turned to stalk off towards the cockpit, but his warm, strong hand caught her upper arm and stopped her. “Look, just give me a chance!” he pleaded. Rey fumed and wrenched her arm away from him. “Rey, just — I’ll help you if you help me.”

“I don’t need anybody’s help,” she shouted stubbornly over her shoulder as she took long, angry strides towards the cockpit.

Ben, unable to take a hint, followed her. She trudged back to the pilot’s seat and glared at him when he entered right behind her. Ben danced his fingers over the dangling gold dice, and Rey swatted at his arm. “Don’t touch,” she snipped. “Just sit down and shut up.”

But of course, he didn’t listen.

Ben helped himself to the co-pilot’s seat, looking appraisingly around at his surroundings as he did so. She watched him darkly, irritated by his unflappable nature and how no amount of her anger could deter him from pushing to get his way. _Damn smugglers._

He looked at the navigation system and the coordinates, and then turned to her, pretending to be hurt. “You were going to go this close to Cloud City and you didn’t invite me?” he asked, a hand to his chest. 

“We’re not friends,” she reminded him through gritted teeth.

“Please,” Ben said, taking on a softer tone. “Just take me to Cloud City, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Until you decide to come try to take back this ship under the delusion that it still belongs to you, right?”

Ben hesitated a moment, because she wasn’t wrong. That was exactly what he’d been thinking. He studied her like she was a puzzle that was missing a few pieces, something that would forever be a mystery.

“Who are you?” he asked.

Confused by his question, Rey’s glare faltered. She fiddled with a few switches on the navigation panel before she replied. “I already told you. I’m Rey.”

“Yeah, but who _are_ you? Who are your parents? Where did you come from?”

Irritation back firmly in place on her face, Rey said, “I’m Rey, I’m from Jakku, and the rest is none of your business.”

After that, she turned her full focus to navigating the ship, and Ben realized very quickly that he’d never get any information out of her when she was in a mood like this.

But before Rey even had the chance to take a deep breath and calm down, something was rocking their ship. Rey groaned. _TIE fighters_. “What is the First Order doing way out _here_?” she asked, exasperated.

“They’re everywhere, these days,” Ben responded, but his expression of annoyance matched Rey’s. The more that went wrong, the less likely it was that he’d get to where he needed to go.

It was the first time he’d shown her an actual, human expression of his own, not one of the many he put on when he was trying to smooth talk someone. Rey was lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little intrigued. But there was no time to dwell upon it; the TIE fighters were attacking them, and if Ben and Rey didn’t focus, they were going to be blasted to smithereens.

“I thought they were in the Unknown Regions!” Rey shouted as she tried to maneuver away from a trio of fighters.

“I told you, they’re everywhere,” Ben said through gritted teeth as the ship shook under more attacks. “Either you’ve got to go man the gun, or I have to.”

Rey looked over at Ben, her eyes wild. “I’m not letting you steer my ship!” she shouted.

He nodded, standing from the co-pilot’s seat. Another blast to the side of the ship sent him tumbling dangerously close to Rey’s lap. She pushed him off with more strength than he’d expected from her. “Get off me!” she shouted.

“I’m going,” he snapped back. “It’s not my fault they’re shooting at us!”

Angrily, Rey pushed him out of her general area. “Go get the gun or we’re done for!”

Ben rushed out of the cockpit as fast as he could, directly to the dorsal turret. It was his favorite of all the cannons on the ship, allowing him to shoot from any angle. His father had never let him actually _shoot_ the cannons when he’d been taught how to fly the _Falcon_ , but Ben was a decent learner. And besides, if they ended up wrecked on some planet, he could just blame it on Rey — assuming she survived this, too.

Rey focused all her energy now on steering the ship as far away from the TIE fighters as she could. The First Order ships were faster, and much smaller, making it difficult to really shake them, but the _Falcon_ could twist and turn in ways that the wings of the TIE fighters didn’t allow for. She swerved roughly around a meteor, unknowingly sending Ben flying as he tried to slip on the headset so he could talk to Rey as he took his seat at the turret. The chair was a lot smaller than he remembered.

“It would help if you didn’t try to kill me while we’re trying to fight them off,” Ben mumbled as he took his seat.

“Shut up and _shoot_!” Rey demanded. Ben startled at how crisp her voice was — like she was speaking directly in his ear, not through a twenty-year-old headset that had definitely not had proper upkeep.

“I’m trying!” he huffed.

Rey’s sole mindset was to get as far away from the TIE fighters as quickly as possible. As she looped the ship up and over, she shouted to Ben, “Quick! I’m turning around so you can fire at them!”

“I see that!”

Rolling her eyes, Rey willed the sarcasm to just roll off her back; she had more important things to worry about, like getting them out of this mess _alive._

Moments later, a planet came into her periphery — one she hadn’t noticed before. It looked green and grassy and beautiful, even from way up where they were.

“We need to lose them!” Rey shouted. “There’s a planet! We can hide!”

“It’ll never work. They’re not that dumb.”

Rey gritted her teeth. “I don’t see their mothership anywhere.”

For the briefest of moments, she swore she could hear him huff right in her ear before he said, “I don’t think that’s what it’s called.”

“I don’t _care_ what it’s called,” Rey responded sharply. She quickly jerked the ship to the right, just out of the way of one of the First Order’s blaster beams. “The point is, these two TIE fighters are all that’s standing between us and freedom, so _blow them out of the sky_!”

Moments later, the ship’s hull took a major hit, and several screens in the cockpit started beeping red messages at Rey. “Ben! Are you even _shooting_ down there!?”

“You think you could do a better job?”

Another blast, sending the ship veering closer to the planet’s surface. “Yes!” Rey shouted.

It was too late. The TIE fighters had done enough damage that Rey knew she could only prolong, but no longer prevent, the inevitable. They were going to crash land on this beautiful, lush planet, and she had to hope that she could land her ship without wrecking it beyond repair. The damage from the TIE fighters would already cost more than she knew she could afford, even with her scavenging and bargaining skills.

“Ben, you need to get up here,” Rey said. Her voice trembled; she sounded leery and a bit unsure of their fate, at this point. “I need you to help me land this ship as gently as possible.”

“We can get them! Just turn us around again, like you did last time.” He almost sounded encouraging.

Rey, tears in her eyes at the thought of completely losing the ship she’d worked so hard to make her own, shook her head. Realizing Ben hadn’t seen her, she said weakly, “We’re going down. Come help me keep this thing in one piece.” 

Her voice was soft, yet Ben heard it clear as day, even over the barrage of blaster fire. It was the strangest thing, given the fact that they were essentially manning a half-dead hunk of junk.

“Rey—”

“Now!”

He scrambled out of the gun turret, tripping over his lanky limbs in a frantic effort to return to the cockpit.

Moments later, all gunfire from the _Falcon_ ceased, and Rey could sense Ben getting closer to her. When he stepped into the cockpit and sat down, he glanced over at her, ignoring the way the many screens were beeping at them that their systems were failing. 

Oddly, he asked, “Where’s your headset?”

Confused, Rey asked, “What?” Another blaster fire met the side of the ship with a sickening boom, and she shook her head. “That’s not important. Help me land this thing!”

“You have to —”

“Don’t touch me!”

Ben reached for the yoke anyway, and flipped a switch as he throttled the ship to the side. Rey shrieked, but refused to release her grip from the handle. “I _said_ —”

Now the Falcon was smacking tree after tree as it descended into the foliage. Rey could see the steeple of a large decrepit temple in the distance, and she wanted to know where she was, what the kriff Ben thought he was doing to her ship, and why he smelled so good.

Wait, no — she wanted to know when she could get the ship repaired and finish her mission. She didn’t care why he smelled good, not at all.

If she didn’t complete this trade for Unkar Plutt, she’d be in big trouble. She may have bargained for her freedom, but he was still the one in charge of portions, and he could increase the fees for her if he wanted. He’d done it before.

As soon as the ship came to a jolting, sickening halt in the trees, Rey angrily pushed Ben off of her. “What did you do _that_ for!? I had everything under control!”

He hit the armrest of the co-pilot’s seat with a thud, and he winced as his tailbone collided with it painfully hard, in a way he knew would leave a bruise. “You needed me to help you land the ship, so I did,” he shrugged, trying to play it off as though he hadn’t genuinely been worried that they’d be injured in the landing.

“I meant from _there_ ,” Rey said angrily, pointing to the chair he was currently leaning against.

She wasn’t used to having people in her space, especially not handsome ones who were trying to win her favor. Usually, if somebody invaded Rey’s space it meant she was being robbed, beaten, or both. Life on Jakku wasn’t easy, after all.

“Sorry,” Ben said, though he sounded anything but.

Rey fixed him with a glare and let it linger, making Ben fester under it for a few moments until he finally tore his eyes away and looked at the dash, gesturing to it lamely. “At least the navigation system is still up. It’ll tell us where we are.”

He looked totally disinterested in their location, though, and instead decided to walk out of the cockpit to assess the damage. Rey scanned over the screens and frowned. _Takodana_. She’d never heard of the place, and she had no idea how far it was from Jakku, or from their destination on Bespin.

Curious, Rey followed the path Ben had just taken, out into the main deck, and then down the gangway. Out on the grassy terrain, Rey’s question got swallowed up in her throat. 

The scenery completely engulfed her, all the new scents and sounds — she’d never been on a planet like this before. Everywhere Plutt sent her was as desolate and miserable as Jakku, so she’d never seen such a lush planet in her life. The sun kissed her face without drying her skin; in fact, she felt a sheen of sweat blossoming on her brow, the damp air drawing moisture from her skin.

Her eyes closed and her ears homed in on the caws of some sort of flying creature perched in the trees. A blissful smile played on her lips as a cool breeze wicked away some of the moisture from her skin and fanned the criss-crossed fabric of her tunic wrap.

“You okay?”

Ben’s voice was soft, not as jarring as she might have expected it to be. Slowly, Rey blinked her eyes open. She didn’t tear her gaze away from the bright blue sky or the massive stretches of green all along the horizon. With an awed sparkle in her eye, she finally spoke.

“I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”

Thankfully, Ben didn’t say anything dumb in response.

After allowing Rey a few more moments filled with serenity and awe, Ben spoke up. “Come on, we should go. The sooner we get this ship fixed and get off this planet, the better.”

He gripped the back of her arm gently and led her up the hill. They walked closer and closer to the temple Rey had seen as they were crash landing, and she was filled with curiosity. “Do you know this place?” she asked. “Is it dangerous?”

“I’ve been here a time or two,” Ben said tersely.

Brow furrowed, Rey looked at him curiously, wrenching her arm away. “Are we going to be in trouble here? Should I avoid you, so I don’t get accidentally arrested?”

He shook his head, a strand of hair swooping into his eyes. He brushed it away with a hand that was larger than any hand had any right to be, as far as Rey was concerned. “No,” he replied. “We’re safe here.”

“Then why do we need to leave so soon?” Rey prodded. “It’s beautiful here.”

As they reached the clearing, the pointed stone steeples of the temple reaching upwards to the bright, blue sky, Rey’s mind nearly blanked out. It was more beautiful than she knew how to put into words, even for as worn and beaten-up as the building appeared to be. 

“I’ve seen better.”

Ben’s brash mood pulled her from her reverie, and Rey rolled her eyes with irritation. Rey stomped into the castle, choosing to leave Ben and his terrible attitude outside. 

As soon as she crossed the threshold, Rey could hear a hum in the building; something was pulling her attention, just as Ben had on the ship. She slowed her pace, looking around, trying to find the source of the hum of energy she felt. It was strong, but not overwhelming. The force had a gentle urgency to it, like she was being beckoned.

But instead, Rey followed the very tangible music she heard, the thing she knew Ben would hear, too, if he would ever deign to walk inside and help her get the parts they needed for the _Falcon_. 

The cantina was bustling with life and energy, the music upbeat and the guests all looking quite content in the space. There were piles of food and drink everywhere — Rey found herself wondering if she had enough credits to finally try ale. She’d heard about it, between men at Niima outpost, but she’d never been brave enough to try it, especially on Jakku. If it lowered a person’s inhibitions like she’d heard whispers of, it was most certainly not something she should drink on a planet like Jakku. One sip too many and everything she’d worked to accumulate over her life would be gone.

But this planet felt safe. It surrounded her with a buzz of energy that filled her with a sense of security that she’d only ever dreamed of.

“BEN SOLO!”

The words were loud and drawn out, and rendered the entire cantina silent. Rey turned around; so Ben _had_ decided to follow her inside. A short little creature stomped through a parting crowd, directly to Ben who stood just a few yards behind Rey. He was facing Rey, and well aware of the woman with wrinkled orange skin and massive spectacles who was standing right behind him. Eyes squished shut, Ben just waited.

“I wondered when I’d be seeing you again,” the woman said, sounding triumphant.

She climbed onto the barstool next to Rey. A long, wrinkled finger prodded Ben painfully in his ribs; he winced and jolted backwards.

“Call your mother,” barked the woman. “She misses you.”

Whether or not Ben acknowledged her, Rey didn’t know. She was far more intrigued by this woman, who at probably a third of Ben’s size, had managed to intimidate him in a way that Rey could only dream of doing. 

As soon as the woman’s eyes landed on Rey, she understood why Ben cowered the way she did. Her eyes were magnified beneath her massive spectacles — lenses that wrapped around her head to cover her eyes. She had small, squished features, but looked like she was reading deep into Rey’s soul. Suddenly, all amusement at Ben’s reaction was wiped from her face and Rey felt vulnerable and exposed.

“Who are you, child?” asked the woman.

“I’m Rey,” she replied, her voice smaller than usual.

All at once, the scrutiny disappeared from her eyes. “I’m Maz Kanata, and you are the most interesting thing to walk into this cantina in a very long time.”

Confused, Rey asked, “Me? That can’t be right. I’m nobody. A scavenger. Ben is —”

“You know Ben, huh?” interrupted Maz. “And he hasn’t stolen anything from you?”

Rey looked over her shoulder at Ben, who still stood by, watching the interaction between Rey and Maz with narrowed eyes. “Stolen? I mean, technically he stole a ride from me, but that turned out well…”

“The First Order attacked us after we left Jakku,” Ben explained. 

Something in Maz’s eyes changed, and Rey looked from her to Ben a few times, trying to understand. It was like they could have a conversation without speaking. Somehow, these two knew each other, and Rey began to grow irritated that she wasn’t privy to whatever it was they needed to talk about.

“Well, I’ll just leave you two, then,” Rey sighed. “You clearly have some catching up to do without me.” She hopped off the barstool and looked around. Pointedly, she looked at Ben. “I’ll find us the parts we need, since you did such a _lovely_ job landing my ship.”

Annoyed, Rey stalked away, leaving Ben and Maz behind to have whatever conversation they needed to have in privacy. 

Rey barely made it two steps outside the cantina’s entrance before that same buzz was swirling around her. Unintelligible words hissed in her ears, and she felt a tug, deep beneath her sternum, guiding her. It was like when she’d tracked Ben down on the _Falcon_ , but much, much stronger. 

It was foolish, dangerous, but Rey couldn’t resist following that tug wherever it led her. She was filled with curiosity, and this place was a total mystery.

Her feet led her to the cavernous basement of the temple, stone walls dripping with moisture. She’d never felt this much moisture beading on her skin before; it was marvelous and wonderful and _uncomfortable_. But all of that was secondary to the immense pull she felt from _something_.

There, at the end of the hallway, sat a small wooden trunk. It was barely large enough for a book, but it was pulling Rey to it with a fearsome intensity. 

Her fingers trembled as she easily slipped the locks open. When she tipped the lid upwards, all the breath left her lungs and she stared down at the object before her.

It was long and slim, silver at the bottom with rungs of silver on a thinner black handle just above it. Above that was a gold ring, and it was topped with a metal piece that looked like a miniature crown. The button made her feel a bit ominous and frightened, but she knew what this was. Not _whose_ it was, but at the very least, _what_ it was.

_A lightsaber._

Rey reached out for it and wrapped her still-trembling hand around the base. As she held it up before her, she was filled with awe. Something about this thing drew her to it and she couldn’t resist looking around and contemplating whether she should ignite the blade.

The tug beneath her sternum was there again, and she couldn’t stop herself. Her thumb pressed to the little black button and in seconds, the room was filled with a glowing, electric green light. 

All in an instant, visions began to flood her mind, battling for her attention, to be at the forefront.

_The green saber, facing off against Darth Vader._

_The training of younglings with their own miniature versions of the same weapon she held._

_A frantic battle in pouring rain, intense anger in Ben Solo’s eyes as he used a blue lightsaber against the green one she held in her hands. He looked menacing, dangerous… ready to kill._

Rey squeaked in shock and fear, dropping the saber to the cold stone floor. It hit with a clang, the blade no longer ignited. Rey stumbled across the room, trying to create as much distance between her and the lightsaber as she possibly could. She could guess who the saber belonged to based on stories she’d heard whispered around Niima Outpost, but if that was true, then it meant…

Luke Skywalker was a _hero_. Which meant somewhere, deep inside, Ben had wanted to kill a hero. Was there really that much darkness beneath his suave, smuggler personality?

“Rey?”

Her head whipped to the end of the hallway, shock clear as day across her face. It was Ben. He’d left his conversation with Maz and now he was there, looking at her, taking in the sight of her pure shock and fear as Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber lay at her feet.

Rey scrambled to stand, and she rushed down the hallway and immediately past Ben. She avoided his eyes, muttering something about needing to get back to the ship.

“Rey, wait!”

Ben called out after her, but she didn’t stop or slow down. She had to get out of that place. Why had a lightsaber called out to _her _? She was nobody. Nothing. Scavenger scum from Jakku. She had no place in the epic Jedi story.__

__She didn’t stop her running, her frantic attempts at escaping whatever lay within that temple, but felt a wave of relief as she boarded the _Falcon_ and realized that blessedly, Ben hadn’t followed her._ _

__It was difficult to shake the vision of Ben, his eyes frantic, livid, swinging a lightsaber at _her_ — no, that was silly, it was Luke Skywalker, it had to be — but it didn’t make it any less frightening, Ben’s rage aimed at her even in a vision. How were they even the same people, the man in that vision and the man who’d snuck onto her ship?_ _

__Rey’s desperate attempts to forget what she’d seen devolved into mindless tinkering on the _Falcon_ , trying to figure out which parts they’d need to try to scavenge together, because she didn’t have the budget to buy new parts, or even buy _all_ the parts off of people in this village. Was there even a village? The temple was the only building Rey had seen in the midst of all the trees.  
_ _

  
——

“Child…”

Bitterly, Ben looked up from where he knelt next to the abandoned lightsaber, down the hallway where Maz stood watching knowingly, like she’d witnessed the whole thing. Orchestrated it, maybe. He wouldn’t put it past her.

“Don’t call me that.”

Maz nodded, unruffled by Ben’s demeanor. She stepped closer to him, slowly so as not to spook him, her eyes focused on the young man as he stared down at a sheet of flimsi with his uncle’s messy penmanship on it.

_Hey kid, it’s me, Uncle Lando. You ever need help and don’t wanna call your father, come find me, we’ll sort it out._

This note was all that had gotten Ben through a lot in the past few years, and it took everything in himself to refrain from crumpling it in his palm. “There are plenty of pilots in that cantina who will take you to Cloud City,” Maz reminded him. “You don’t need the girl.”

He looked up, eyes shining in the dim light, vulnerability pouring off of him in waves. “She’s… different.”

“She can use the Force,” Maz said simply. “Freely.”

Ben shook his head. “She doesn’t deserve it.”

“Ben.”

He looked up at Maz again, and despised that a woman a third his size could read him like a holorecord. It was annoying, and made him feel weak. Like he couldn’t contain even the simplest of emotions.

“Go speak with your parents. They can help you.”

Ben’s eyes flashed something dark and dangerous. Pain. _Fear_. “They’ve never been able to help me.”

Maz frowned. Ben was horribly, pathetically like his parents when it came to stubbornness. It explained so much about his family, and there was only so much she could do to help when they began to dig in their heels.

Gently, she rested her tiny palm on his shoulder, hoping to transfer him even a modicum of peace.

  
——

That night, Rey wandered back into the Cantina, though she wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for. All she knew was that she was livid at whoever had messed with the _Falcon_ before she won it from Plutt, and that she was sick and tired of looking at the _Falcon_ ’s internal wiring.

“Child, sit.”

Rey paused, looking to the source of the voice. It was the tiny little woman from before — Maz. She gestured to the bar, where there was a glass of water just sitting there, waiting for Rey, begging her to drink it. 

Exhaustion flooded into Rey the moment she sat down and stopped moving, her limbs heavy, her throat dry. The water was exactly what she’d needed, and Rey drank it down with a voracity that left her feeling a bit like she was halfway to drowning. She’d probably never had so much water in one sitting before in her life.

“Drink some water. Eat. _Relax_ ,” coaxed Maz before walking away, leaving Rey at the bar, alone and confused.

She’d never been to a planet where people were generous. Where there were kind souls who’d feed her or give her water without expecting a pile of things in return.

Instantly, Rey was on her guard.

But that guard disappeared exactly three seconds after she bit into the meal Maz had delivered to her. The food was flavorful, an explosion of new tastes on her tongue that she’d never experienced before. Rey would never be able to eat another portion pack again without feeling wildly disappointed.

The food did so much to brighten her spirits that she couldn’t even turn sour when Ben Solo sat down next to her in the cantina. He nursed a cocktail, and Rey didn’t want to know who he’d had to swindle, or how, in order to afford _that_. 

“Hi.”

Rey looked over at him, cheeks puffed out with the sheer volume of food she’d stuffed in her mouth, and didn’t answer. Whatever he wanted, he’d need to be quick about it. Rey already knew she’d sleep very well that night with a full stomach.

“Did you figure out what parts we need?”

The wave of relief that washed over her when he didn’t mention the lightsaber, or the hallway, or Maz, was something that Rey couldn’t put into words. The ship was common ground, something she could talk about without getting angry with him, or frightened of the world she’d just found herself unwillingly in the middle of.

“Yeah,” Rey grunted. She swallowed back the food in her mouth and said, “Some moof milker put a compressor on the ignition line, so when we went to lightspeed to attack the First Order, we put way too much stress on the hyperdrive.”

“ _Kriff_.”

“Yep,” Rey sighed. “We’re going to need to get a new hyperdrive if we ever want to leave this planet, and neither of us have enough credits for that.”

Ben looked around the cantina, and Rey could already tell where his mind had gone. “No. Do not even think about it. I will _not_ get wrapped up in one of your smooth-talking, get-us-arrested, smuggler kind of deals,” Rey warned. “I just want to finish this mission and get back. Unkar Plutt will already cut my portions in half for the delay.”

He frowned as he looked back at Rey. Though he’d gotten used to living life by the seat of his pants, from place to place just as his father had done, Ben had never considered alternatives. Like Rey, who had to live mission to mission, from one scavenging trip to another, in hopes that she’d do enough to appease the person who controlled all the resources. Something that wasn’t her fault would now cost her dearly, both in food and in credits. He felt a bit of fury on her behalf, and was puzzled by how calmly she spoke of it.

When she finished drinking her third glass of water that evening, Rey set the cup down with a loud thud. “If you decide to sleep in the _Falcon_ tonight, stay out of the bedroom. It’s _mine_.”

With that, Rey stood and left the cantina, mind racing with all the different ways she could try to finagle a hyperdrive off of someone the next day. She didn’t think on it long, though, as her full stomach was exactly what she needed to lull her off into a deep sleep. Usually, the purple cushions in the bedroom felt rough and uncomfortable, but that evening, combined with the blissful feeling of a full stomach, they seemed so plush Rey would have thought they were brand new.

When she woke the next morning, Rey could hear the sound of someone moving down the hall. It was probably Ben, but that didn’t put her any more at ease. She rushed out of the bed, nearly hitting her head in the process, and raced down the corridor towards the source of the noise.

“Oh, good. You’re up.

Rey slid to a halt in front of him, looking around the ship. There were pieces of it _everywhere_. 

“What did you _do_!?” she asked incredulously.

He may be familiar with the _Falcon_ , but it was _her_ ship. What right did he have to start taking it apart! Especially looking so smug, with a smear of grease on his cheek, no less. And at this angle, knelt down with the buttons open on the top of his shirt — Rey pointedly looked away.

“There’s some caf in the galley,” Ben said, ignoring her earlier question. “I’m trying to get the old hyperdrive out. I found a decent deal on one, but I can’t remember for the life of me if it’s a class 0.8 or a class 0.5.”

Rey crossed her arms. “Who gave you permission to rip apart my ship?”

Unfazed by Rey’s attitude, Ben kept wrestling with one of the parts, a few wires sparking out at him as he did so. After a twist of a wrench and a smack on the paneling, he was able to get the piece free. He studied it for a moment before mumbling gruffly, “Well _that_ wasn’t what I needed.”

“ _Hello_? I’m talking to you, here,” Rey said, kicking her stocking foot at his thigh. “What do you mean a _decent deal_? How many credits do you think I have?”

“I’m getting us the hyperdrive.”

Rey’s brow furrowed with annoyance. “Oh no you’re not,” she snipped. “If you do that, you’ll start living under the delusion that this ship partially belongs to _you_ , and I will _not_ let that happen.”

“You’re pretty possessive of this thing,” Ben commented, standing up and brushing the grease on his hands haphazardly on his dark trousers.

Standing this close, practically toe to toe, all of Rey’s brashness disappeared as she realized just how large he was in comparison to her. With far less conviction in her voice, Rey said, “It’s all I own.”

It was partially true. Almost true. But Ben was feeling snarky so he tilted his head to the side and said, “You own those clothes. And your staff. And that blaster you almost shot me with.”

“This is different.”

Ben chuckled and walked past her to the galley, where there was barely enough caf left for the both of them. “Do you want some or not?” he asked, holding up the brewer.

He let a little bit dribble into his own mug as he waited for her answer. Rather than speaking, Rey stepped into the galley kitchen and pulled a fresh mug from the cupboard. When she handed it to Ben, she took care to ensure their hands didn’t touch. After the lightsaber the day before, she was afraid of what would happen if their hands met.

She didn’t want to see his angry, vicious eyes ever again.

“I don’t know what you saw when you touched that lightsaber —”

But as soon as he began to speak about it, Rey completely shut down. She pulled the mug away, the last dregs of caf spilling onto the counter and Ben’s boot. “We’re not talking about that,” she said flatly, spinning on her heel to walk away from him. 

There was nothing anyone could do or say to get her to talk about that lightsaber, or what she’d seen, or the distinct possibility that she could be one of those Force users she’d once thought were only a myth. It would explain so much, but would open up the door to so much disaster and pain.

If she revealed these powers, she’d be used as a bodyguard, or a warrior, just like those Jedi in the myths she heard on Jakku. But that wasn’t the life Rey had imagined for herself. If she was going to be free, she was going to do it on her own terms.

Thankfully, Ben didn’t follow her.

  
——

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing to my ship?”

The voice was gruff and muffled enough that Rey assumed it was Ben again, come to be a pain. He’s enjoyed hassling her — and by hassling, really, he’d just tried to get her to talk about the lightsaber. But two full days on Takodana had left Rey feeling tense and stressed, worried about what her fate would be when she returned to Jakku. Plutt expected her back by now. She’d be lucky if she got any portions at all.

But when she stood and turned and saw that it wasn’t Ben, her eyes went wide.

“You’re _Han Solo_!”

Han rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. What are you doing to my ship?” he repeated.

The Wookiee standing behind Han let out a growl, and Rey very confusingly understood him. It wasn’t a growl, it was a language, and she knew what he’d said.

“I’m trying to fix it, I promise,” she said to the Wookiee. “The man I won this from put a compressor on the ignition line. We gunned it to hyperdrive too fast to try to get away from the First Order, but it put too much strain on it and it blew. I need to replace the hyperdrive with credits I don’t have so I can finish my delivery and get back to Jakku.”

Han looked appalled. “Jakku? Why would you want to go back to that junkyard?”

Rey sighed. “I have to,” she explained, sounding resigned. Her shoulders sunk and she turned back to the job at hand. She really needed to get working. “If I don’t go back…”

“Alright, alright, don’t cry or anything,” Han placated.

“I’m not going to cry,” said Rey stubbornly. She scowled and yanked at a wire, successfully pulling the old hyperdrive free. 

In a complete change of topic, Han asked, “D’you know where my son went?”

Rey laughed dryly. “I’m not his babysitter.”

“He’s here though, right?” Han persisted. “I swear, if Maz lied —”

“She didn’t lie,” interjected Rey. “He’s here. But I don’t know where. I’ve been avoiding him, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Han asked. He took a seat at the hologram board and watched as Rey plucked at the stray wires on the hyperdrive part in her hands. “What’d he do to you?”

Rey glanced up. Something about Han and the way he talked made Rey wonder what the relationship was like between Han and Ben. It was difficult to try to make sense of, aside from comprehending that it was probably quite complicated. 

“He stowed away on my ship and it’s probably his fault we got attacked by the First Order which is why we ended up crashed down on this planet, which he says he knows but won’t tell me _why_ , and the whole time he’s trying to be this suave, carefree guy but he honestly just gets on my nerves,” she rambled. Then, she sighed and looked up at Han. 

It was time to change the subject. “Is it true this ship once made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?”

Her big eyes reminded Han of a small child’s, the way she looked at him with such awe as she considered the ship possibly being able to fly that fast.

“Twelve, actually.”

Her eyes went even wider. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Han nodded, looking smug. “Twelve parsecs. Best run of this ship’s life.”

Curiously, Rey asked, “Why did you come here? You said Maz told you Ben was here?”

The Wookiee interjected at that point, telling Rey that it was a complicated story and Han didn’t like telling it. “Yeah, what Chewie said,” answered Han, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb. “It’s a long story, and we don’t have that kind of time.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “We have all the time in the world. I don’t have enough credits to replace this.” She set the part aside and wiped off the grease on her trousers, then took a deep breath. “If you’re looking for Ben, you’re probably best off just waiting here for him. He keeps coming back to this ship. If it wasn’t broken down, I’m sure he would have stolen it from me by now.”

“C’mon, give the kid a _little_ credit,” Han said weakly.

The firm glare Rey fixed him with told Han that no, she was not going to give Ben _any_ credit, thank you very much.

“Look, why don’t you take a break? Come with me, we’ll go up to Maz’s cantina, get you a big meal,” Han offered. “It’s the least I can do after you looked after my ship.”

“It’s _my_ ship,” Rey said stubbornly through gritted teeth.

“Alright, alright, fine. Still. Food?”

Rey glanced up at Han. She wanted to refuse; she was terrible at accepting charity. She didn’t want anyone’s pity. She was making her own way through life, and doing a decent job at it. But a big, warm meal sounded delicious, and to be quite honest, Rey was sick of looking at wires and switches. Working on the _Falcon_ was hard, tedious work sometimes.

“Okay,” she nodded in resignation. She didn’t have the credits to eat _and_ buy a new hyperdrive. It was necessary to concede. “One meal.”

She followed Han into the cantina, looking around at her surroundings the whole time. It was still difficult for Rey to believe that she was on such a lush, beautiful planet. She’d never seen anywhere so beautiful in her entire life.

The cantina was buzzing, like it had been every time Rey had been in it. There was a band playing, plenty of drinks flowing, and noticeably more laughter and frivolity than during her past visits. Rey noted that there were more humanoid creatures in the cantina this time, many of them all gathered around a few tables in the back corner — directly where Han was leading her. “Rey, I want you to meet some people.”

She glanced up at Han, an eyebrow raised as she wondered why he hadn’t called them his friends. Before she could ask, a very handsome curly-haired man in a bright orange jumpsuit stood up to greet her. He wore the same outfit as the old ragged doll Rey had from her childhood. 

“You’re a Resistance pilot.”

Rey’s eyes were wide with wonderment as she looked at the man, whose smile grew as he took in the sight of her. Han waved his hand just so, and somehow the curly-haired man understood that to mean it was his turn to take over. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said, a hand on her shoulder. “I’m Poe Dameron. I’m a Resistance pilot and this,” he gestured to everyone at the tables before Rey, “is the Resistance.”

Her eyes were now comically wide, and she couldn’t keep up as more people at the table introduced themselves.

Rose. Paige. Snap. Jess. Finn.

“And this,” Poe said, tipping his head to nod to the woman approaching Rey’s opposite side, “is our fearless leader, General Leia Organa.”

“You’re —”

She nodded and smiled, her whole expression filled with hope and exhaustion at the same time. Rey had heard many stories whispered throughout the galaxy of Leia Organa, daughter of Darth Vader, fearless Princess of Alderaan, and so many more things. The list of things Leia had seen and done for the sake of peace in the galaxy was astonishing… and Rey felt silly because given everything she’d learned since leaving Jakku with Ben unknowingly on board with her, she didn’t know what was true and what was false.

“Whatever you’re about to say, yes. I probably am.”

Rey smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Leia nodded. “Han tells me you’ve seen our son?”

Rey’s smile faltered. “Yes,” she sighed. Of course she only wanted to talk about Ben. Apparently, that’s all any adult on Takodana wanted to do. “He stowed away on my ship to get off of Jakku. Says he needs to get to Cloud City.”

Leia turned to look at Han, who was standing off to the side with Chewie and trying to look like he wasn’t paying attention. Clearly he was, because as soon as the words _Cloud City_ fell from Rey’s lips, he and Leia had locked eyes.

“Lando.”

Thankfully, Poe chose that moment to interrupt. “Alright, Rey. They have a lot on their plates right now, so why don’t you come over here with us? Can we get you anything? A snack? A drink?”

He led Rey to the table and gestured to her to take the seat next to the dark-skinned man with the warmest eyes Rey had ever seen. She felt immediately like she could trust him. “Um… sure.”

“Yes to all. Got it!” Poe waved down a waiter and before Rey knew it, she had an ale in her hand and a plate of food piled high in front of her.

Rey knew she should be skeptical of this huge new group of people. She shouldn’t open up to them and trust them so quickly. And yet — Poe’s charm and Rose’s dry wit and Paige’s humor were all mixing together in a way that made her feel right at home. She noticed the way Finn seemed a little hesitant to join the fray, but he’d eye Rey over the rim of his glass and see the way she was warming to the group, and then he’d smile and join in.

When Rey asked them all how long they’d been with the Resistance, Finn had gotten cagey, and that’s when she’d started to piece together that he may not be _one of them_. She yearned to ask him about it, and almost did once Poe stood up and rushed to the bar to buy a drink for one of the other pilots.

But then Ben walked in.

The whole bar quieted; the band stopped playing, Rose and Paige stopped laughing, Snap stopped talking mid-sentence. 

The first voice Rey heard when she turned around was actually Maz’s; she stood in the doorway behind Ben, and though she was small, she refused to let him leave.

“Don’t.”

Ben stood stock still, his face ashen, his expression one of horror as he faced his mother and his father, the realization hitting him that he was being stared at by the entire cantina. He squished his eyes closed and it looked like he was trying to disappear through the floor. Suddenly, Rey didn’t feel any satisfaction like she thought she might, seeing Ben humiliated. No… all she felt was pity, and it made her feel very uncomfortable.

She set her ale down, and her smile fell, and when his dark eyes opened and focused directly on her, Rey swore she could hear his voice in his head. 

_Help me._

Confusion clouded Rey’s mind; something shifted in Ben’s eyes as though he could sense her emotions — how she didn’t know what to do, what to think. These were his _parents_. Why wasn’t he happy to see them? All she’d ever wanted was to have parents… 

Han and Leia stepped in, slowly as though they were trying not to spook him, and Poe cleared his throat. Rey turned abruptly to look at him, and then at the rest of the Resistance members sitting together with them at the table. When she turned to look back over her shoulder, the Organa-Solo family were just blips in the distance, leaving the room.

“What was that all about?” Rey asked softly.

“You haven’t heard about all their drama?” Rose sounded incredulous, as though it were impossible to avoid their family affairs.

Rey shook her head and then looked to Poe. 

“Well, I know bits and pieces, but I don’t think anyone knows the whole truth,” he confessed.

“You know more than the rest of us,” Paige urged. “Didn’t you grow up with them?”

Sighing, Poe shook his head. “It wasn’t like that. His parents knew my parents, and sure, we all fought for the same cause at one point, but…” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “It’s not like me and him were friends or anything. I saw him _once_ , at this party thing. But he didn’t want to be there so it’s not like I could talk to him.”

“Please, Poe. Tell us what you know,” Rey pleaded.

He looked hesitant to do so, but nodded anyway. “Alright. But like I said — I’m no expert. This is just what I’ve seen, and what I’ve heard around bases growing up.”

Poe launched into his story — first about Han and Leia, and the way they fought with Luke in a valiant effort to save the galaxy from the terrible Darth Vader — Leia’s father, Ben’s grandfather. The man Ben warned Rey he could have tried to become. 

He talked of his childhood years, seeing Ben wandering around the base sometimes — this tall, gangly kid who stood out from the crowd for years both because of his height, and his big ears, and his general propensity to get angry at the smallest inconvenience. “He was such an angry kid,” Poe said, frowning and shaking his head at the memory. “ _So_ angry.”

There was a time when Ben was just becoming a teen when he got even angrier — Poe didn’t know why, at least not until years later. Ben had been sent away to train to be a Jedi under his uncle Luke Skywalker’s tutelage. It made sense — Ben was a powerful force-wielder, even when he was young. He was impossible to beat at any games the kids would play out in the fields, and he could sense emotions and thoughts and make you open up to him whether you wanted to or not. He was powerful, and he was _terrifying_.

Poe’s knowledge blacked out there, after Ben had gone to train with his uncle. Nobody heard from him, and Han and Leia grew tense. He explained that the two drifted apart, Han leaving any work he did with the newly forming Resistance to return to smuggling. Meanwhile, Leia was ramping up her army to try to pose a formidable threat to the First Order, a group reborn from the ashes of the Empire, led by Supreme Leader Snoke. It was a dark time, both for the Organa-Solo family and the galaxy.

“After we got news that Luke’s training temple was burned to the ground, we all just kind of assumed Ben would come home,” Poe explained. He shrugged, like it was nothing. Maybe it _was_ nothing, an easy assumption to make. “He never did. When we caught rumors of not one but _two_ Solo men traveling the galaxy and swindling trade groups, we knew what happened to him. For a while there, when he didn’t come back, we thought he’d died in the fire…” 

Poe looked up and around at the group. Suddenly all the frivolity was gone, replaced with dark, somber expressions. “Anyway. Now we’re here. Leia’s all upset that he never came home, and Han is probably just upset that he lost the _Falcon_ and stole some of his trade deals, but…” Poe shrugged. “Anyway, that’s all I know of Ben Solo. He was a troubled kid, didn’t do so hot at the whole Jedi thing, and now he’s smuggling.”

Rey frowned. The story was… _fine_ , she supposed, but it lacked a lot of details. A lot of explanation. Sure, Poe told them everything he knew, but… it was still disappointing. Rey wanted to know more.

That evening, after the ale had stopped flowing and their stomachs were too full for one more bite, the Resistance began to disperse back to the ships they’d arrived in, to bunk for the night. Rey made her way to the _Falcon_ , taking note that there were some lights on.

Ben or Han was inside that ship — and for once, Rey wasn’t irritated by that fact.

Sure enough, she found Ben inside, lounging in the booth by the dejarik table. He looked worse for wear, his usually suave messy hair looking more lank and foreboding than usual. When she took a seat next to him, Rey noticed the soft shadows of stubble beginning to dot along his chin and upper lip, and the way his eyes drooped. He was tired. All those years of running, and for what? To be confronted with his past against his will?

“Hi.”

Ben’s head snapped to the side quickly, looking at Rey with alarm. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t seen her come in, hadn’t noticed her take a seat next to him. He was slouched in his seat, his hands fumbling in his lap, but he wasn’t scowling at her, so Rey felt safe pressing on.

“Are you alright?”

His eyes narrowed, but he kept his expression carefully neutral. The silence was stilted and thick, but Rey was patient. She’d asked him a question, and he could answer in his own time.

“Were you having fun with the _Resistance_?”

He spat the word as if it were a vile, poisonous thing. Rey’s expression remained unchanged; if he was going to act like a child, she’d take the high road and not give in to it. 

“They were kind to me,” Rey spoke factually. “Now — will you answer me? Something tells me that wasn’t easy for you.”

“ _Please_ ,” Ben rolled his eyes, letting out a derisive laugh. “Didn’t Dameron tell you everything? It was great. Wonderful. Seeing my parents was _exactly_ what I needed to make this great trip absolutely _spectacular_.”

Rey sighed. She wasn’t going to let him be petty, to let him rile her up. Though inside she was stewing, angry beyond measure that she’d gone out of her way to be kind to him when he’d done absolutely nothing to earn it. Curtly, she stood and turned on her heel to walk away.

“You don’t know anything, you know,” Ben called out as Rey walked down the corridor to the bedroom. “And Dameron doesn’t know anything either!”

Ben made a valid point, Rey knew — everything Poe had told her was second-hand information, and very possibly wrong. She didn’t know the facts behind it all, the things only Ben would know, but it wasn’t as if he were opening up to her about it anytime soon. What Poe told her was all she had to go off of, so it would have to do.

If he wanted her to think differently, he’d have to talk to her about it himself.

  
——

Ben snored.

It was an incredibly mundane, _normal_ thing for him to do. Rey wouldn’t have thought anything of it, except for the fact that everything she’d seen or heard about Ben made him seem extraordinary — something greater than most people. Sure, he was irritating, but he had a power that not many had. She could recognize that and appreciate it for what it was.

So catching him snoring in the pilot’s seat of the _Millennium Falcon_ the next morning was so wonderfully, absurdly _boring_. 

As she stood in the doorway to the cockpit holding two mugs of caf, she was struck with the realization that now she had no free hands with which to wake him up. She looked around, but no surfaces seemed conducive to holding an easily spillable mug of caf. So… she was left with one solution.

Balancing herself carefully, Rey extended one leg and kicked it haphazardly at Ben’s leg. She wanted to wake him without startling him, but it seemed an impossible pursuit. After four solid kicks, Ben finally jump-started awake, looking around through groggy eyes, mumbling in confusion. 

His brow furrowed up grumpily as he laid eyes on Rey, but she didn’t speak. She didn’t want to make his mood worse, nor did she have the energy to fight. Her head was telling her she’d consumed more ale than was probably appropriate, and her only hope was that the caf would help.

She extended a hand, offering him one of the mugs. Though Ben seemed confused, he didn’t question whether she’d poisoned it or done something to it — which she’d half expected him to do, given their rocky start. Instead, he just took it and drank down a significant amount of it. 

“Didn’t that burn your tongue?” Rey asked, surprised.

He shook his head. Warm caf was a rarity, and he was going to enjoy it. She frowned and tipped her head to the side, watching as he righted himself in the chair, facing forwards towards the forests of Takodana. His gaze trailed up to the sky above the trees, and Rey knew that he wanted to get out of there. Frankly, she did, too. She had a job to do.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ben glanced back over his shoulder, appearing to be surprised by her suddenly gentle demeanor. He opened his mouth and Rey braced for a quip in response, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he just snapped his mouth shut again and drank more caf.

Rey leaned against the doorway, taking care not to bump any buttons, and sipped at her own warm beverage. After what she’d witnessed the night before, Rey wasn’t afraid of Ben. He had a dark past, but he’d survived a lot… or so it sounded, from Poe’s story. All night, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Ben had said: _You don’t know anything, you know. And Dameron doesn’t know anything either._

“I can get us the part today. Will you be here to install it or will you just relax and let me?”

Rey frowned. “You don’t need to do that. Chewie is on it.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Of course he is,” he muttered under his breath.

“What did you expect me to do!?” Rey shouted. She loathed that he always managed to get a rise out of her, even when she pointedly tried _not_ to let him goad her into being angry. “He’s kind to me. So is your father. They knew where to get the parts. What was I going to do, say no?”

“You’d better be careful,” Ben warned. He stood from the chair and looked into Rey’s eyes. His gaze was dark and heavy — full of warning. “Before you know it, you’ll be one of them, and suddenly you’ll be the protector and the martyr because of your _powers_.” Rey opened her mouth; she _refused_ to follow this Jedi path, to use the Force, even if there was no denying now that she had it. “Don’t. You think you have a choice, but you won’t. Nobody can argue with my mother and win. _Nobody_.”

Ben’s shoulder bumped Rey’s as he walked past her and off the ship, his battered rucksack slung over his shoulder.

Rather than following, like she desperately wanted to do, Rey went back into the small city center, towards Maz’s cantina. It was a staple location for Rey now; she was almost guaranteed to run into a Resistance member there at any given time. Most often it was Poe, but Rey had a feeling that this time, she’d be able to find Leia.

Her senses had in fact been correct.

Leia told much of the same story as Poe, but was able to fill in some gaps. She said that Ben was introverted, that he’d liked to write, and do things hands-on but quiet — he’d enjoyed calligraphy, and burying his nose in holobooks. He’d get lost in the stories and preferred being alone. Yet at the same time, ever the contradiction, Ben also wanted other children to like him. Wherever they lived — Chandrila, Yavin 4 — he wanted to be liked.

And then the Force awakened within him and his anger would lead to bottles breaking, to things flying off the walls. He’d needed to learn how to control the Force if he was ever going to live a comfortable life again. 

That was also about the time when he’d started saying he heard voices — well, _one_ voice — in his head. He claimed it was Supreme Leader Snoke, the one that Leia and the newly formed Resistance were aiming to take down. But she didn’t believe him. “I thought he was just having nightmares,” Leia confessed. “That the pressure of war was too much for him. He’s very sensitive, you know.”

Rey might not have believed that fact a week ago, but now she could see it. She understood. 

“We thought that Luke could fix it.”

But he hadn’t. In fact, all Luke had done was try to tell Ben to meditate, to envision walls being put up in his mind around every thought and emotion he wanted to keep guarded. Luke had thought that by giving Ben the tools to protect his thoughts and memories, that these nightmares of Snoke would go away.

Leia didn’t know much more from Ben’s time at Luke’s academy than Poe did. Apparently afterwards, she too had feared Ben lost his life in the fire. She hadn’t heard from him, and Luke had completely disappeared. She’d been bereft, heartbroken at the thought of Ben dying just as he was learning to protect himself.

“When he finally did come back, I was so angry with him. He hadn’t contacted us for years. And then he chose to follow in his father’s footsteps? I was so disappointed,” Leia shook her head. “I let that disappointment get the better of me.” Her eyes were deep and full of sadness, though her posture conveyed to Rey nothing but strength and poise. “That was when I lost him. I should have just been relieved, that he’d survived and come home. But I wasn’t. And… that really hurt him.”

She frowned, and Rey wasn’t entirely sure what to say next. She’d gone to Leia in hopes of fully understanding Ben’s story, but she still didn’t. There were still so many gaps.

As she walked back to the _Falcon_ in the moonlight, Rey understood that if she wanted the whole story, she’d need to get Ben to open up to her. The task seemed insurmountable, but there was marginally less animosity than they’d previously had between them — it didn’t seem quite so impossible that he’d share bits and pieces of his past with her. If she was lucky. 

If she kept her temper in check.

Ben was exactly where she’d found him that morning — draped unceremoniously across one of the seats in the cockpit. He held a busted-up datapad and looked to be reading. But Rey wasn’t interested in what he was reading. She wanted to talk.

Kriff, she hoped he’d talk.

He looked up when he sensed her presence, and his expression was curiously blank. Rey leaned in the doorway, arms crossed, and studied him for a moment. He had several beauty marks speckled across his face — they suited him. She liked them better than the lighter brown flecks she sported across her nose and cheeks. Those were due to sunlight, not genetics, and she knew it meant bad things had happened to her skin under years of unrelenting Jakku sunlight. 

“Well, have you gone and officially joined the Resistance now?” Ben asked. He quirked an eyebrow, and there was judgment thick in his voice, but his expression remained blank. “I know you spoke with my mother today.”

Rey frowned, and a sarcastic comment barely refrained from falling from the tip of her tongue. “No,” she sighed after a beat. “I mean — I spoke with her, yes. But I haven’t joined anything. I work for Plutt, and I stay out of wars.”

“You’d better not let them find out you can use the Force,” he warned, sitting up in his seat. He set the datapad haphazardly across the control panel of the _Falcon_. “If they find out, they’ll beg you to be their new bodyguard, just like Luke was, and his father before him. Bodyguards for senators and emperors who can’t hold their own.”

“Your mother can hold her own.”

Ben looked up at Rey over his shoulder, a swooping dark curl hanging in his eyes again. Rey wondered if he had a way of making his hair do that — it really did add to his whole suave smuggler look — but she pushed the thought away. 

“Is that why you’ve shut yourself off from the Force?”

Rey stepped further into the cockpit, leaning her backside against the armrest of the co-pilot’s chair. She kept her arms crossed, and her head tilted to the side as she took a moment to really study him, to watch all of Ben’s ticks and hesitations. 

“What did my mother tell you?”

He was clearly still on the defensive — and for that, Rey couldn’t really blame him. It was obvious to her that he’d tried hard to escape his past, to run from the trauma he’d clearly experienced. She was sure she didn’t know the half of it, given the only stories she’d heard were secondhand — none from Ben himself. But she was trying, and the least he could do was try a little in return.

“I’m not interested in what your mother told me. I’m interested in _your_ story.”

Something in his eyes shifted, and Rey knew she couldn’t afford to falter and hesitate, to second-guess whether she’d said the right thing. This was a conversation they needed to have. She would be unrelenting, especially if he wanted that ride to Cloud City.

And thankfully, Ben opened his mouth and began to speak.

His body language conveyed to Rey that he didn’t want to be doing this. He kept his legs scrunched up close to him, and he leaned over, arms crossed or touching, fingers picking at the fraying edges of his vest. He avoided her gaze.

When talking about his early years, his story was just like Poe’s and Leia’s. Ben was a loner, and he didn’t get along with most of the kids. When his Force abilities began to appear, suddenly the nightmares began.

“My mother didn’t believe me,” Ben sighed. “Neither did Han. But Snoke was there, in my mind. He’d tell me things he saw me do earlier in the day, told me the negotiations my mother was trying to barter with the First Order. He saw _everything_. And he was always in my head.”

“Like a nightmare?”

Ben shook his head. “No. Snoke is a Force user, too. He can get in your head, your thoughts,” he insisted. “I told them that. Han, Leia… Luke, even. But none of them believed me. They swore I was the only Force user left.”

Frowning, Rey said, “The only one in the whole galaxy? That’s impossible. ”

“ _Exactly_.”

His confession felt like progress, primarily because Rey found herself totally believing his story. It made sense. Why else would he suddenly shift in personality so much?

“So why didn’t you go with Snoke, if you were unhappy with Luke?”

Ben sighed. “I could have. He wanted me to become _Kylo Ren_ , his successor in the First Order. He was getting old, and he knew he had a target on his back. It would only be a matter of time before he was killed. So… that’s where I would come in,” he explained. Ben avoided Rey’s eyes, but his posture wasn’t so closed-off anymore. Not since Rey made it clear that she believed him. “He wanted me to bring some other Padawan learners from the Academy, to make them my protectors. The Knights of Ren. I knew who I wanted to pick, and I asked them, and I told them all about our plans…” Ben stopped. 

He shook his head and looked down at his lap. “They thought I was crazy. Just like Luke had when I told him about Snoke’s voice in my head. Some even laughed right in my face.” Ben looked up at Rey, his dark eyes deep like a black hole — Rey was lost in them, both with intrigue and fear. “When I told Snoke what happened, he was livid. He sent a ship to fly by and blow up the entire Academy. _That’s_ what started the fire. _That’s_ what destroyed Luke’s Academy.”

Rey’s eyes went wide.

“I escaped, obviously. I knew it was coming. But I didn’t go with Snoke.”

“Why not?”

Rey was hanging from Ben’s every word. She wanted to know what happened, why Ben had kept from turning to the dark side once and for all.

“I was afraid. I knew he was bad. And… more than all of that, I didn’t know what he’d do to me if I didn’t have any knights there to protect me,” Ben confessed.

His gaze turned back to his lap where his hands fidgeted again. He combed a hand through his hair and shook his head, like he was trying to forget the memory. “I wanted more time to think about whether or not I wanted to join the First Order. It was one thing to want to write off the Force, but it was another thing entirely to consider turning on my mother. On actively working to destroy everything she’d worked for.” Ben sighed. “I thought that if I joined the First Order and tried to take down the Resistance, all those days and weeks she spent in the Senate instead of raising me would be for _nothing_. And I didn’t want that. I didn’t need another reason to resent her.”

Rey was quiet. His sudden blunt honest was astonishing and quite frankly, she was still in disbelief that he’d shared any of his story at all.

“Is that why you took up smuggling? Because it was easier to escape the war?”

Ben shrugged. “In part.” He looked around the cockpit, and then over to Rey. “It’s the only thing I’m good at aside from using the Force. That, and ignoring Snoke’s voice in my head, and making sure he can’t find me.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Still?”

Suddenly, Ben looked bone-weary and exhausted. “Still.”

He buried his face in his hands again, his elbows propped up on his knees. If Rey had understood him correctly, Ben had just confessed that he spent every single day trying not only to work out smuggling or trade deals to keep himself afloat, but he did all of that while trying to ignore Snoke’s invasiveness in his mind.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey said softly. “Is… is there anything I can do?”

Ben shook his head. “The Supreme Leader is too powerful. There’s nothing either of us can do. And quite frankly, the less he knows about you, the better.”

“But I’m —”

“Not just a scavenger,” Ben finished for her, shaking his head. “No matter what you want to think, you’re not just a scavenger. You can use the Force. You could be a Jedi, or you could be Snoke’s next target.”

“But… I don’t want to be. I’ve only heard the myths, but… they’re protectors. They don’t marry. They live to serve and protect others without getting anything good for themselves in return,” Rey prattled. “That’s not the life I want.”

“You’d rather be a scavenger for a slaver like Plutt instead?”

Rey hesitated to answer. She didn’t want to do that, either. Her mouth opened, and then closed again, though no words came out. Neither option sounded good.

“I don’t want that, either,” Rey confessed. “But it’s better than being a slave. Baby steps.”

He stood from the co-pilot’s chair and looked down into Rey’s eyes. “You’re worth a lot more than that.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t,” she insisted. “I’m not.” Ben opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Rey cut him off. “My parents left me on Jakku. I — I believed for so many years that they’d come back for me, but they never did. Maz — she told me that they’re never coming back. That I waited all those years for _nothing_.” She took a deep breath. “Jakku is lonely, and there’s nothing for me there, but it’s where they left me and where I earned my freedom.”

“And now that you have your freedom, you should _get out_.”

Rey shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. Plutt can put a bounty on my head.”

“He doesn’t own you.”

“But he employs me.”

“You can quit your job.”

The back and forth was like whiplash — for every argument Ben had, Rey had a counterargument. They could have volleyed back and forth until they were blue in the face. But then Rey looked up at Ben and her eyes shone with unshed tears, and Ben suddenly didn’t _want_ to argue. 

“It’s not that easy,” Rey said finally, shaking her head, her voice cracking as the emotion overwhelmed her. “Everything I have is on Jakku.”

“You can live without a pile of possessions,” Ben spoke softly, no longer argumentative. Now, he just wanted to see Rey find somewhere safe, somewhere she could blossom into more than just the scavenger she’d become under Plutt’s thumb. “You have the _Falcon_. You can travel the galaxy.”

“Fuel costs money,” she replied, but her argument was half-hearted and weak. They both heard it in her voice, knew it deep down.

They stood toe to toe in the cockpit of the _Falcon_ , and Ben’s expression had softened. Rey’s eyes glistened. They could feel each other’s warmth. The moment had stilled significantly.

“You can work from place to place,” Ben reminded her. “I can show you.” Rey’s breath caught. “Let me show you,” he pleaded.

Ben’s eyes were so warm, and he was so earnest, and deep down Rey knew she wanted this _so badly_. Whatever was coming — she had ideas, she’d heard about it in stories, but couldn’t fathom what any of it would actually be like. 

He raised a trembling hand, drifting the pads of his fingertips gently over Rey’s cheek. She was fire-hot beneath his touch and even such a tender, soft gesture pulled the breath from her lungs. Rey couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, couldn’t find more than a short, shallow breath as Ben invaded her senses. He was so close. She could feel his warmth from head to toe. 

“Will you let me show you?”

He persisted, but this time Rey didn’t think he was talking about traveling the galaxy. It felt like this time he meant something else. His voice was barely above a whisper, and his eyes were dark and earnest and full of so many emotions it rendered Rey speechless.

She gave the faintest of nods, and in seconds, his mouth was pressed tenderly to hers. Rey felt like she’d initiated it, but couldn’t be sure. Maybe Ben had. Maybe they’d been so close that it didn’t matter, or there was no way to tell.

All she knew was that the moment their lips touched, her mind went blank. She felt euphoric, like she held the whole galaxy in her hands. Like everything important in the world, everything she’d worked towards for years, all manifested itself deep inside her chest at this very moment. It had all led to this.

Everything in the universe had meshed and melded until hers and Ben’s paths crossed, and their walls were slowly torn down, and they ended up together, holding each other, sharing the most intimate gesture either had ever experienced in the worn-down cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon._

And it was _perfect_.

  
——

Rey woke in the morning, bright and early, conditioned into it by years of scavenging as soon as the sun rose. She hadn’t slept quite that well in longer than she could remember. She slowly shirked the blankets from her body, struck by a strong burst of cold now that she didn’t have the blanket and Ben’s body to warm her.

 _Ben_.

She looked over at the sleeping figure on the bed next to her. He’d been so sweet and vulnerable the night before — they both had. Their kisses in the cockpit had been gentle, hesitant. A bit nervous. But then they wanted to get more comfortable and that was near impossible to do.

So Ben had gently taken her hand in his own and together they walked back to the lone bedroom on the _Falcon_. He’d held her so gently, like he was worried every touch would spook her or be too much for her. Rey was grateful for it. She’d never known the touch of another — Jakku didn’t exactly house trustworthy people. Certainly nobody she’d trust to share such intimate experiences with.

Though they’d stayed clothed, their kisses had grown more heated. It had gotten so hot, but Rey had been reserved. Baby steps, as she’d said earlier. And Ben had listened to her, respected her. She’d felt more treasured, more cared for than she’d ever felt before. It brought tears to her eyes, but Ben had kissed those tears away the moment they fell upon her cheeks. He’d kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cupids bow… everywhere he could find, he kissed. And Rey had loved it. She’d wished she could have done something more in return.

_Something in return._

It wasn’t a big deal, definitely nothing fancy, but Rey knew what she could do to take care of him in return. 

Carefully, without jostling him, Rey climbed out of bed. She draped the blanket gently over Ben’s broad chest, and then tiptoed out of the room. She stayed stocking-footed, their boots long since forgotten by the door, kicked off as soon as they’d entered the room. 

Thanks to Chewbacca’s help the days before, they’d been able to fix the hyperdrive on the _Falcon_. So, ever so gently, Rey had been able to turn on the ship’s engine, raise the ship out of the forest on Takodana, and soar away.

Unlike she would have done a week ago, Rey didn’t hesitate to set the coordinates to Cloud City. Though she needed to get to Bespin, she could bring Ben to Cloud City first. He needed to get there, and after their conversation, she was far more inclined to believe him when he said it was important. Whatever or whomever was in Cloud City waiting for him — it had to be for a good reason. 

Besides, he’d shared with her the night before that he didn’t stay in one place for very long because he didn’t want Snoke to find him. Rey couldn’t fault him for that, either.

She’d grown to appreciate Ben, once he’d opened up and she could understand him. He wasn’t just some cocky smuggler. He liked to project himself that way, but he was so much more than that. He was emotional, haunted, conflicted… and he was handling himself the best he could. 

Rey hoped that by flying them to Cloud City before he ever had to say a painful or awkward goodbye with his parents, she was showing him that she was listening. That she cared. Because though it once mattered to her, now she didn’t care if he thought she cared for him. In truth, she did. A lot. 

She was taking him where he needed to go, where he’d been begging her to take him for days on end. What could possibly go wrong?

  
——

The moment they pulled out of hyperspace outside of Cloud City, it was like deja vu, like the space above Takodana all over again. There were First Order ships everywhere. Rey’s eyes widened and she was stricken with such fear she froze for a moment, unable to think.

_Why were they near Bespin? How did they know?_

Frantically, Rey asked Ben what to do, wondered what he’d do, though realistically she knew he couldn’t hear her. There was no way he could hear her because he was _asleep_. And now there she was, launched directly into the middle of a sea of TIE Fighters and a Star Destroyer.

She thought she might have a chance to escape if she just maneuvered the ship in all the right ways.

But then she turned the ship around — in a move that would likely wake Ben, and this was not what she’d wanted him to wake up to — and was face to face with the biggest ship she’d ever seen.

“The _Supremacy_.”

Rey’s head snapped around frantically, startled by the sound of Ben’s voice. “The _what_?”

“Snoke’s ship.”

He looked ashen and pale, but Rey barely had time to notice. She had to turn back to look at the mass of ships focused on them, and the beeping on the control board telling her that someone was trying to talk to them. 

Rey reached out to press the button in hopes that she could convince whoever was on the other end that they were harmless, that she was just trying to make a delivery and return to Jakku, but Ben stopped her.

“No, don’t.”

“But Ben, we’re going to _die_. Look at them!”

Ben looked solemn, and he knew that their clock was slowly ticking down to nothing. It was very, very likely that they would die that day. 

He closed his eyes, wincing in what appeared to be pain, but Rey couldn’t understand why. He was just standing there, and they hadn’t had enough to drink the night before to give him any sort of hangover. So what was going on.

“Snoke.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “In your head?”

Ben nodded. “I — my defenses were down when I was asleep. He sensed me. He… he says we need to land in Cloud City.”

“Like you wanted?”

“I don’t particularly want to anymore.”

Rey felt a shiver shoot down her spine as she felt something pressing at the edges of her mind. “Ben,” she said, her voice trembling. “I think —”

“He knows who you are. What you can do.”

Another prod at her mind. This time, her fingers twitched as something in the depths of her head told her to land in Cloud City. Snoke was trying to control her. 

The pure terror of someone trying to control her thoughts and actions left Rey dumbstruck for a moment. She didn’t want to do anything, didn’t want to succumb to anyone so evil. She didn’t like knowing that even at such a distance, he _could_ control her. Nobody should be that strong.

“Rey.”

She could hear her voice dripping with panic as she said, “He’s trying to control me.”

“We need to land the ship,” Ben instructed. He was trying to be calm, but Rey could hear the tremor in his voice, as well.

“I—”

He took the co-pilot’s seat, and he switched the controls over to him. He was now in charge of flying, his gut twisting with guilt and fear at having plunged Rey into such a situation. He wanted to be angry with her. If he’d known they were flying this way he would have blocked his mind, just in case Snoke was looking for him. But she hadn’t known to ask — there was nothing she could have done differently. Not without him telling her, first.

So in truth, he was angry with _himself_.

And now he needed to land them safely on Cloud City and hope that Lando was there or had reinforcements that could help protect them against Snoke. It was unlikely, but he was hopeful. Lando looked out for him. He was the whole reason Ben wanted to go to Cloud City in the first place.

The guilt, though. It made Ben feel sick to his stomach. That he’d put her in a situation like this, put her at risk, made it so Snoke knew who she was and what she could do. _That_ was unbearable, and that was definitely all his fault.

But what could he do?

Protect her. That was it. And even then, that would be a monumental task because Snoke was relentless once he found a Force-user he could control and manipulate. There would be no escaping, barring Snoke’s death.

Piloting the _Falcon_ was exactly as Ben remembered it. A little clunky, impossible to do perfectly, but otherwise all the buttons and triggers reacted just as he’d always known them to — just a little delayed. He’d expect nothing else from a ship as old as this one. His timing was perfect, and in no time, he was lowering the _Falcon_ to the landing platform in Cloud City.

Rey’s faculties returned to her as the ship settled its landing gear on solid ground, and she looked over at Ben, still fearful, but looking relieved that they’d made planetfall without incident. She knew realistically that they weren’t out of the woods, but this felt promising. It filled her with a false hope that things might still be okay.

Ben knew better than to feel relieved, but there was a certain edge to the situation that made him feel at ease, if he’d dare to say it. They hadn’t been shot out of the sky. That was _something_. He was fairly certain he knew what that something was, but he was going to roll with it. He knew he could talk his way out of things if he needed to

He kept his rucksack on his back, and he made sure Rey had hers as well. He knew what equipment was in them and what they could do with them if they couldn’t escape Cloud City. At least they’d have some rations and a change of clothes if they had to run. _If_ they could run.

There were stormtroopers waiting for them when they walked down the gangway, and Ben knew the safest and smartest thing to do in that moment was to follow their command. So, he held out his wrists and let himself be arrested. Ben hoped Rey would follow his lead and do the same.

He heard a thud and a grunt — inevitably, she’d tried to protect herself and had smacked or elbowed the stormtrooper — but then he heard the mechanic clink of the cuffs and when he looked over, Ben saw that Rey, too, had allowed herself to be arrested. She looked scared and confused and angry, and Ben had to look away. He wanted to try to explain to her through the link their minds had made, but couldn’t risk it. If Snoke overheard, he’d make their lives miserable, even more so than he likely had already planned to do.

The stormtroopers stood behind them, blasters pointed to their backs, urging Ben and Rey through the hallways of an overwhelmingly, irritatingly beige building. “Where are you taking us?” Rey asked the troopers, but to no avail.

They didn’t answer — Ben hadn’t expected them to. They weren’t going to get any explanation or answers, not so long as they were outside of Snoke’s good graces. Ben could sense that Snoke was in this building — he’d left his ship in the space just above Cloud City for shock factor, but he’d shuttled himself planetside to face Ben in person.

He didn’t let on, but Ben was _terrified_.

One torturous elevator ride later, the doors whirred open and Ben and Rey found themselves face to face with none other than Supreme Leader Snoke.

He was even more gruesome and fearsome in person than either had expected. Ben knew the man was powerful, but now wondered at what cost. Why was his face so mangled, the broken shell of what a human face would really look like? Was he even a human at all? 

“Ben Solo.”

Ben didn’t respond. Then, Snoke’s eyes turned away from him.

“Rey. The Scavenger.”

The room was filled with a nervous tension. Ben could sense Rey’s fear, which meant that Snoke could, too. She was untrained. Though she was strong, she didn’t have the skills to defend herself against Snoke. Truthfully, Ben didn’t either. His training had ended only a few short years after it had begun, and he knew he still had much yet to learn.

“Release them. Bring them to me.”

At his command, the stormtroopers surrounded Ben and Rey, taking their cuffs off and slinging their bags haphazardly to the side. Rey winced, and Ben wondered if anything of value had been in there that was likely now destroyed. Rey owned so few things, it would be a shame for them to all be broken by Snoke’s hand.

Once their things were disposed of, the stormtroopers delivered Ben and Rey to the front of the room. They were dismissed with a casual wave of Snoke’s wiry, mangled fingers. Ben, Rey, and Snoke were not alone, though. Snoke was flanked on both sides by tall, burly guards in red armor. They held a variety of weapons, and they looked ready to charge at the slightest hint of conflict. 

“You have kept secrets from me, Ben Solo.”

Ben looked up through his swooping dark hair; it looked greasy — sweaty? — but he couldn’t do anything about that now. “You don’t control me.”

Snoke’s laughter was sickening. He still thought he had control over Ben, even after all the years Ben had spent trying to avoid him. 

“You could not run forever,” Snoke warned. “I told you this the first time we spoke.”

“I was a _child_.”

Snoke sat up straighter in his massive, looming throne. “You were being misguided. Your parents are fools, and your uncle was no better to you,” Snoke said. His voice boomed throughout the massive room in which they stood. Ben saw Rey jump at his side, the sound startling her.

“I want nothing to do with this war.”

“Unfortunately, boy,” Snoke snarled with a disgusting sort of satisfaction that made Ben’s stomach twist, “you don’t have a say in the matter. You are the grandson of Darth Vader, the son of the leader of the Resistance. You were thrust into the center of this war without a choice.”

“And I continue to make no choices,” Ben argued. “I’m not here to fight in anyone’s war.”

Snoke looked more smug with each word that fell from Ben’s lips, which in turn only infuriated Ben more. 

“You think you’re making no choices, but each time you choose not to fight — that’s a choice,” Snoke reminded Ben. He flicked his fingers simply, and out of Ben’s rucksack, a lightsaber came soaring. “You don’t want to fight in this war, you don’t want to be Jedi or Sith, and yet you carry your lightsaber with you everywhere?”

Using the Force, rather than actually touching the item, Snoke lowered Ben’s lightsaber on the arm of his throne. Rey looked between Ben and Snoke, confused. She’d known he had one, of course — in the visions she’d seen when she’d held Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, she’d seen Ben’s blue blade facing off against Luke’s green — but she hadn’t considered that Ben would have kept it. Not if he was trying to close himself off to the Force.

“Now. You will tell me where your mother is. You _will_ tell me how to defeat the Resistance once and for all,” Snoke said, clutching his hand into a fist. Ben’s face went ashen. “And if you do, you _might_ be allowed to live.”

“No!”

“Silence, girl!” Snoke shouted in response to Rey’s outburst. 

He lifted his other hand and flung Rey across the room, sending her sliding across the floor. As she recovered, Ben felt a searing, red-hot pain against his mind, and he had to look away from Rey. It hurt _so much_.

Whatever Snoke was doing to try to dig into his mind, it was worse than he’d ever done before. Stronger, more painful, and his touch was so heavy Ben wasn’t sure he had the strength to fight it off. “Give it to me!” bellowed Snoke. “Give me what I want!”

“No!” shouted Ben.

His whole body shook with effort as he tried to fight off Snoke’s advances into his mind. Snoke tore down all the walls Ben built, shoved his way through each mental barrier he tried to put up. Ben hadn’t trained enough — his efforts to block Snoke out were futile.

The taste of metallic red blood drifted down over Ben’s lips; his nose was bleeding with all the effort being put forth by both him and Snoke. If they didn’t stop, Ben would be seriously injured; his mind would never be the same. But Ben couldn’t give away intel on his mother. Not when he desperately wanted to stay out of this war, out of everyone’s way. He’d ruined enough, over the years. He’d hurt them enough.

Ben shouted, loud and low, the pain becoming unbearable. Seconds before he felt like he was going to pass out, Snoke slung him across the floor like he’d done to Rey just a few minutes before. 

“Ben,” she breathed.

“You, girl.”

Snoke used the Force to pull Rey to him instead, leaving Ben heaving for breath, wincing, shaking from overexertion on the floor where Rey had just been. 

“No,” Rey protested, her words nothing more than a breath as he used the Force to cling to her so tightly she could barely breathe.

Ben watched through long tendrils of dark hair, trying his best to recuperate, to try to get a grip on the situation, to try to save Rey. But how? The moments ticked on, Snoke telling Rey she was going to give him all the information he wanted, and then he was going to kill her. Unlike he’d done for Ben, Rey wasn’t given a choice between joining him and trying to outrun him. He’d made Rey’s choice for her — and Ben was livid. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t _right_. What had she done to Snoke?

Aside from resisting him, as she was doing in that moment with shocking prowess. Snoke looked determined, and Ben wasn’t surprised. Snoke would do _anything_ to prevail over the Resistance, to snuff them out once and for all.

But then Snoke lifted Rey high up in the air and he tipped his head determinedly. Seconds later, she began to scream in pain. Her body writhed with it, the way Snoke was torturing her, trying to steal every bit of information he could from her mind before killing her.

Ben’s rage was too much. It consumed him all at once, the Force swirling through the room, through his body, until he couldn’t contain it anymore. It couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt, the strong surge of the Force that blasted out from Ben’s body where he still lay on the floor. When it did, Snoke’s grip was gone, and the entire Praetorian Guard surrounding Snoke were knocked down onto their backs. Snoke was shoved backwards in his throne. Rey began to descend towards the floor at an alarming rate.

Snoke chuckled, and Ben tried to summon any strength he had left in him to keep Rey from impact. He couldn’t — all his strength was gone after the blast.

But then Snoke caught her.

“That was a nice attempt, Solo, but you are not strong enough to interfere with my plans.” 

Though Ben’s surge had disarmed Snoke for a minute, it was not enough. The Guard were back on their feet, and they were encroaching upon Rey and Ben. 

It was now or never.

Ben winced, and he looked down, and to the unfocused eye he looked seconds from passing out. Perhaps he was; he’d never felt so bone-weary, so exhausted in his whole life. But he had strength left in him. He was Vader’s grandson. He was a Skywalker, and he had more power within him than anyone could know.

If only he hadn’t kept it tamped down for so long, hidden from the surface. If only he wasn’t so untrained.

Rey’s screaming resumed, and Ben could feel the life, the strength ebbing from Rey’s body with each passing second.

Ben gritted his teeth, admonished himself for not having the strength he needed, and then in a flash of blue light, he forced his lightsaber to ignite from where he lay across the room.

A sickening gulp and a startled shout were all it took for Ben to open his eyes and see what he’d done. Rey had tumbled onto the floor and looked ready to pass out, but there, beyond her, was what Ben had done.

His lightsaber lay on the edge of the throne, its blade sliced clean through Snoke’s torso. Ben held up his trembling hand, his whole body drained of energy, to summon the saber to him. As it flew towards him, it sliced Snoke clean in half, his body taking one last disgusting gulp of air before he slumped over in pieces.

Rey ducked her head, watching as the lightsaber soared strongly, swiftly over her head and into Ben’s hand. Her eyes were wide as she turned to look at him. Ben looked back; he didn’t know what to say or do. He hadn’t used the Force in ages, and certainly not in front of Rey.

But he’d done it now, and he’d killed his tormentor, and the circle of Praetorian Guards was swiftly closing in on them.

Ben slowly stood, regaining strength little by little, knowing it would be short-lived. He held out his free hand to Rey, to help her stand in hopes that they could stand against these guards — together.

She didn’t hesitate. 

Rey took Ben’s hand and stood with him, and though fearful of what might happen when she used it, Rey knew that summoning Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber to her from her bag was necessary for their survival. So, with her free hand, she reached out, calling to the lightsaber with the force, begging it to come to her aid.

Ben watched the way the saber soared across the room and flew into Rey’s hand like it belonged to her. Perhaps it did. Perhaps the lightsaber had found a new, worthier owner. 

She deserved it.

When their eyes met, they could see the guards in their periphery — they needed to fight, and _now_ , or else they’d die. It was time for both of them to wield the Force in a way they never had before. Rey nodded to Ben, and he found that he was nodding back before he truly understood why she’d done it.

As she spun around to face the guards on her side, Ben did the same. Back to back, they held their lightsabers at the ready. If they couldn’t fight off these guards, they — well, Ben didn’t entertain the ideas. There was no room for failure. He very rarely left room for failure in his mind, or in his life. He had to survive, it was as simple as that.

Luckily, he was facing these guards with Rey by his side — someone who had spent her whole life doing the same thing: just trying to survive.

The stakes were higher, but it was the very same thing. And it was time to do it better than they’d ever done before.

Rey swung first, Ben seconds later, and in minutes they had the whole guard engaged in battle. No matter where she was in the room, Ben could sense Rey. He knew when she made a kill, and he knew when she needed his help. He leaned over, blocking a swing at his ankle while simultaneously letting Rey grip his thigh and lean on his back for leverage to aim a good kick at a guard’s head. 

Fighting with Rey was easy. Their back and forth was like a dance. She swung at the right guard so Ben could disarm him, or block a swing that would have been lethal to Ben. And he did the same, trying his best to keep as many guards focused on him as possible. When he made a particularly swift kill, he took the guard’s weapon in his other hand. He swung with both, back and forth, a skill he’d only practiced with sticks when he’d been a kid — never with real weapons. But the skills transferred over, and they were all that kept him from being skewered by the tip of a vibrosword.

The more guards they took out, the more vicious the ones remaining had become. But then there were three, and then there were two.

And then Ben and Rey were trapped by those remaining two, both struggling not to be defeated by them. Rey dropped her lightsaber and then ducked down beneath the arm that was holding her hand in place. She swung swiftly, jabbing the guard in his gut, and he fell over in seconds. She’d done it.

She’d escaped, but Ben was still in a headlock. He’d been distracted, watching Rey. She was quick-thinking and strong, and somehow this woman who’d seemed so gentle and kind just a night before had now ruthlessly killed half a dozen guards without a second thought.

And now she was looking at Ben, shocked and frightened as she realized that he was trapped, his lightsaber across the room, knocked out of his hands earlier in combat.

“Ben!” she shouted, catching his attention before tossing her lightsaber across the room.

There was only one move he could do to free himself. If he didn’t catch the lightsaber correctly, it wouldn’t work. He’d probably drop it and that would be that. Rey would be without a weapon and Ben would be a heap on the floor.

There was no use in thinking that way. Ben willed the lightsaber to fly to his hand just as he needed it to.

And it did.

He caught it, pressed the trigger, and heard the disgusting squelch of singed skin and plastic as the lightsaber plunged through the guard’s head. Seconds later, the body clattered to the floor and Ben could stand up straight.

His shirt had split open down to his stomach as he’d been fighting, and there was a slice through his vest that was just a sign of how lucky he’d been, that the blade hadn’t pierced his skin as it swung. Ben’s hair was a mess and he was covered in sweat but they’d done it. And Rey was walking towards him, across the room to him with frantic steps.

“Ben,” she said again, this time weaker, exhaustion in her voice.

“Rey.”

“We —”

She couldn’t say another word, and Ben didn’t expect her to. He didn’t know what he’d say even if she _could_ find words. 

He reached out for her, holding out his hand in an offer to her — but what he was offering, he wasn’t sure. Just to be with her, to protect her. He’d showed her how badly he wanted to do that already, but they hadn’t talked about it.

Kriff, this girl had gotten in his head. Something about her was… unforgettable. Captivating. 

Rey’s hand was outstretched towards his own, but just before their fingertips touched, the doors to the room swung open with a loud bang. Rey stopped in her place, feet sliding on the floor as she froze next to Ben. She lowered her hand and Ben cursed whoever it was who’d just interrupted them.

“Finally, I can have Cloud City back. First Vader, now this asshole?”

Ben didn’t even have to wait for the man to step into the light; he knew whose voice that was, and what he was doing there. He was the whole reason Ben had wanted to go to Cloud City in the first place.

“Lando.”

“Hey, kid.”

Lando walked across the room towards him, and Ben’s chest ached as he saw the ways that time hadn’t been kind to Lando. Growing up, Ben had always seen Lando as this big, tough, indestructible man. Nothing could touch him; he was larger than life — fleeting and restless and full of the best stories. But now he was greying and slouched every so slightly, and the wrinkles on his face told Ben that a lot of bad things had happened since they’d last seen each other.

“You did good.”

Ben looked down at the floor. He’d sworn to himself that he wasn’t going to use the Force again. He wasn’t there to protect, to be someone’s bodyguard. And he certainly wasn’t going to train others. Rey, maybe. But anyone else? Not a chance.

And Lando knew that. He knew what Ben had struggled through. Once upon a time, he’d been the only person who believed him. But being out in space, on some planet or other doing trade deals or sales or whatever it was Lando did… it wasn’t a lot of help to Ben when he’d lived at home, or at the Academy.

“I — the note… I needed —”

“We’ll take care of it,” Lando nodded, patting Ben on the shoulder. “All in good time.”

Rey looked between the two men and Ben could sense her bewilderment. But he wasn’t ready to explain. He didn’t know how. 

“C’mon, let’s get you two cleaned up.”

Lando stopped a short distance into the room, beckoning them towards him. Ben followed, and he knew Rey would trust him enough to follow as well. He didn’t know what else to say, to Lando or to Rey. Suddenly, the weight of what he’d done settled heavy in Ben’s chest, and the guilt from dragging Rey into the situation was like a paperweight on top of all of that, pushing hard on him, enough to make breathing hard and thinking clearly even harder.

“You did the right thing, Ben. Maybe now the First Order will stay out of here for good.”

Lando gave them each a room in his massive suite in Prime Tower, space to clean up and rest and try to sort out their thoughts. Ben took everything he was given without hesitation, and hoped that by following Lando so unquestionably was all Rey needed to trust Lando, too.

As he washed up in the fresher, years and years of emotions tumbled down upon Ben — relief, fear, worry, pride. He didn’t know how to process everything that had happened. He’d never expected that bumming a ride off some unsuspecting scavenger on Jakku could have led to so much. Years of pushing away the Force just to use it so readily, and so well, to take out the man who’d been tormenting him for nearly ten years. Relief that Snoke was now dead. Worry and fear that the First Order would target him next. Pride that he and Rey had been able to cooperate and take out that guard together. That they’d succeeded, and they’d lived.

Ben scrubbed himself under a fresh stream of water, letting the temperature scald him pink. He stood there for longer than he knew, trying to wash away years of running, of fear, of evasion. Wash away his past. He didn’t want to kill it, but he wanted to let it be. His past was what it was, and all he could do now was to try to move forward — but how?

There were no bounties on his head, unlike his father. He’d managed to evade anything quite _that_ bad, even as a smuggler. But the First Order had to have put a price on his head now. They had surveillance, right? _Something_. Someone would know that Snoke had been killed, and the likely reason as to why.

Ben could still run. He knew he could, and probably should. But he’d come to Lando for help. The help he’d promised years and years ago. Ben wanted to take him up on it, to find a way out of this smuggling lifestyle he’d made for himself. All he wanted was a quiet life somewhere. He could figure the rest out later.

But then Rey had come along and turned his whole galaxy upside down. The thought of parting ways with her forever felt like more of an ache than Ben could bear.

She was stubborn and beautiful. She dug her heels in and she didn’t need anyone to look out for her or take care of her. But it didn’t mean that Ben didn’t want to be in her presence anyway, to watch her take on the galaxy and win. To watch her strength, to witness her transformation from Jakku scavenger to something greater than she’d ever dreamed of becoming.

But was that what _she_ wanted?

Probably not. She felt indebted to Plutt. Didn’t want to leave him behind. And even if she _did_ choose to leave him behind, she wouldn’t want to go with Ben. She’d want to be with the Resistance — he didn’t even have to see her with them to know that she enjoyed their presence more than anyone else’s. She’d fit in well with them. And Ben was confident his mother would look out for Rey. So would Han. She’d be in good hands.

Warm and clean, Ben pulled on the clean, nondescript clothes left on the bed by one of the many hospitality droids. He wanted desperately to talk to Lando, but that could wait. What he needed most was rest.

Though it was midday, Ben couldn’t help himself. He flopped onto the bed and his eyes were closed before his head even hit the pillow.

Everything else could wait.

  
——

Ben wasn’t sure how long he slept, but was grateful for the reprieve. He only woke when his need for food outweighed every other need. Slowly, he climbed from bed to find that sometime while he was asleep, a droid had helped itself to his dirty clothes and cleaned them for him. They were softer against his skin than they’d been in years, and helped to assuage some of his nerves.

He didn’t know what to expect when he walked downstairs.

Lando’s quarters were in the same place they’d been Ben’s whole life. He knew how to find the man, and wished he could say he was surprised to find that the whole of the Resistance was in the same place. Barely inside the doors, Ben stopped on his heel, tempted to turn around and leave. He wasn’t ready for this.

“There’s the hero of the hour!” 

Now he had no choice. Lando looked so pleased, and though he knew that Ben didn’t like having all eyes on him, deep down he also knew that Ben just wanted to be recognized for some of the good he did. He wanted his parents’ acknowledgement and praise. 

The whole room cheered, and as Ben looked around, he was consumed with the urge to flee. 

But then a warm, familiar presence was at his side, a hand on the back of his arm, and he looked over to see Rey.

She looked different. Her hair wasn’t tied back in three little buns anymore. Now, she wore it down around her shoulders, just a small bunch tied back at the crown of her head. She wore a grey tunic that better complimented her eyes, and she looked stronger and more well-rested than when he’d seen her last.

And as soon as she was by his side, smiling up at him, his earlier urges to leave and never look back were gone.

He still didn’t like all the attention on him, but Rey’s attention was something else entirely. “It’s okay,” she whispered, something only Ben could hear beneath the blur of applause.

Rey led him directly through the crowd and back to a long table filled with foods, most of which she probably had never even heard of. But Rey knew what he needed in that moment, and Ben was grateful. He was also relieved to see that nobody was following them back to the food. He’d gotten his recognition, and that was that. All was done.

“How are you feeling?” Rey asked.

She held a glass of a pastel-colored liquid in her hands, and stood a safe distance from Ben has he haphazardly piled food on his plate. He was _starving_.

“Fine, I guess,” Ben shrugged. “You?”

Her smile was warm and her eyes sparkled as she replied, “I’m good. I… I wanted to thank you.”

“There’s really no need.”

“You saved our lives,” Rey said simply. “I… I’m sorry you had to face him, but you should know that what you did was very brave.”

“It was nothing.”

He didn’t want to talk about it, and he hoped Rey would catch on to to that fact. The last thing Ben wanted to do was snap at her, but when he was as hungry as he was, snapping felt inevitable. 

Before Rey could say anything else, they were interrupted by Han and Leia. Rey looked at Ben with a nervousness that irritated him just a little. 

Clearly, he needed to eat, or he’d blow up at _everyone_.

He could sense the way everyone was treading carefully around him, as though he were fragile or about to burst. Just because they were right didn’t make it any easier for him. There were eyes on him, he could feel them. All he wanted was to _eat_.

Ben walked to a table in the corner, something secluded where he could burrow down and try to avoid as much awkward, painful conversation as possible. They waited until he’d dug into his food before they spoke.

“Ben — we can’t thank you enough for what you did,” his mother began. “We know that… after everything, using the Force wasn’t —”

“Why did you use the Force like that, out of nowhere?” Han asked abruptly.

Annoyed with his parents, Ben’s gaze hardened. “I didn’t have a choice,” he said. “I had a chance to kill the man who’d been tormenting me for years. For that, it was worth it.”

“And to protect Rey,” Leia added.

Ben rolled his eyes. That wasn’t what mattered most. What mattered most was that the man who’d been torturing him for years was dead, by his hand. He’d finally gotten revenge. And yet they still didn’t seem to want to own up to the fact that they’d been wrong to dismiss Snoke’s intrusions into Ben’s mind as childhood nightmares.

“Ben did a very brave thing,” Rey interjected. “Snoke tortured him for _years_.”

Han looked uncomfortable, but Leia, thankfully, had the good grace to look admonished. “I know,” Leia nodded. “I’m sorry we didn’t believe you, Ben.”

Ben scoffed. Their apology didn’t matter much now that the man was dead. 

“We also do not want to be your bodyguards,” Rey continued. “Ben and I can choose to do what we want with the Force, but we are not going to follow the ways of the past.” She turned to Ben. “Right?”

He froze in place. They hadn’t talked about it in so many words, but that was essentially his attitude towards it. In many ways, the Force was more trouble than it was worth. There were a few practical uses but by and large, Ben just wanted to live out the rest of his years in peace, slowly getting used to the solemn silence of his mind now that Snoke was gone. He wanted to know what life was like when he didn’t have to be on the run from Snoke, and flying from planet to planet to try to protect himself under the guise of being some cocky smuggler like his father.

Ben was tired, and he was ready to stop running.

“We weren’t going to ask you to do that,” Leia swore. “Jedi are so much more than protectors. They —”

“Mom, stop.”

Ben looked up at her, and he knew that he looked weary and tired enough, even still, to get his mom to listen to him. Leia’s eyes took him in, and Ben knew in seconds that she was going to take whatever he said to her next with the utmost sincerity. 

“When everything here is sorted out, I’m not signing up to any side of this war.”

“Ben…” Rey chimed in. “The war is over. Poe took out the Dreadnought, and Finn and Rose took out the Star Destroyer. The First Order is gone.”

Ben froze.

He hadn’t wanted to fight in anyone’s war. He hadn’t wanted to help either side win. And yet — by killing Snoke, he’d done just that.

It wasn’t fair. By trying to stay out of it, Ben still ended up right in the middle of it. He was a war hero. A savior. And he loathed it.

“Let us help you, Ben,” Leia pleaded. “Whatever you want to do.”

Ben shoveled another piece of food into his mouth, glowering. He wished he’d stayed in bed. “I want to disappear.”

“Ben —”

His father looked concerned, thinking Ben meant something very, very permanent with that statement. Ben scoffed and let his fork fall to the plate with a clang. “Not like _that_ ,” he said, exasperated. “I just don’t want any part in _this_ ,” he finished, circling his hand around in a vague gesture. “I want to find a quiet place to settle in and just live there. No smuggling. No Force. No Snoke. Just… I don’t know. Me. Trying to figure out what’s next.”

“We can help you with that,” Leia insisted with a nod.

But Ben knew that accepting help from his parents came with a price. They’d know where he was, and they’d call on him at any time. And Ben needed to have control over whatever relationship he kept with his parents, or else he’d go insane. 

“No,” Ben said. “Thanks, but no. Lando already said he’d help.”

Leia and Han exchanged glances, but knew there was no dissuading their son. If they wanted any hope at knowing him at all, they would have to move forward on his terms. “Okay, Ben,” Leia nodded.

When her eyes met Ben’s, he knew that she would let him do this, and she’d make Han let him do this, too. He could finally build the life he wanted.

But what _did_ he want?

The thought burrowed itself deep into Ben’s mind as the party wore on. Thankfully, some purple-haired woman had interjected just moments later and pulled Leia away, and Han awkwardly left the table a minute or two later. That left Ben and Rey, sitting in the corner alone as the Resistance’s party wore on.

Ben glanced over at Rey and marveled at the way she seemed so content with these people, this crowd. It was unimaginable. How could someone who’d been dealt such a terrible hand have such optimism and positivity?

“Do you want to get some air?”

She must have noticed him staring, because Rey finally spoke again. Ben was grateful that she hadn’t made him have a conversation, but things were drifting into rather awkward territory. A breath of fresh air sounded like the very thing he needed, so Ben nodded his agreement.

They hadn’t spoken much since the kiss. 

Ben wasn’t sure what he’d say even if Rey _did_ want to talk about it, because he’d been acting on pure instinct. He had no experience dating, or kissing, or any of that. She probably hadn’t even enjoyed it that much. But she’d been sweet about it, and seemed just as nervous as he’d been, and it had felt right. It was nice.

Rey was nice, now that she’d given him a chance.

Plus, he’d been pleasantly surprised by all he’d learned about her in return.

They found some fresh air out on a balcony, overlooking the clouds between Cloud City and Bespin far below. The sky was painted bright pink and orange and red; it was beautiful, and there was a cool breeze on Ben’s face to wake him up, to bring him back to reality, back to himself and the man he wanted to be around Rey. 

He had no reason to be grumpy and curt with her, not like he’d been with his parents. Rey was different. Special. She deserved kindness and respect.

“We’ve had quite the adventure, Ben Solo.”

Rey rested an arm against the railing of the balcony and leaned on it, smiling coyly up at Ben through her eyelashes. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she’d put on some makeup for the occasion. Something about her eyes made them seem bigger, brighter. A little more feminine.

“We did,” Ben nodded in agreement.

Something about the sparkle in her eye made Ben wonder what was coming next. He’d learned days ago to not make assumptions about what Rey would say or do. She was constantly full of surprises. 

“You were infuriating when we first met,” she continued. She brought her glass to her mouth and took a sip of it.

Ben shrugged. “You weren’t exactly open to meeting new people.”

Rey’s laughter was music to Ben’s ears. She tipped her head to the side, studying him, and Ben kept his mouth shut. He cared more about what she might say than anything he had to say in return. 

“So we wore each other down.”

Ben nodded in agreement. That was really the best way to explain what happened between them. Suddenly, seeing the way Rey had something to keep her hands busy, Ben wished he’d brought a drink out on the balcony with him as well. But it was too late now, so he shoved his hands in his pocket and waited. Surely Rey had more she wanted to say to him, right?

“So…” she began. “What’s next?”

Ben shrugged. He hated that question, all of a sudden. Aside from asking Lando for help — which would likely come in the form of a sizeable pile of credits he could use however he saw fit — Ben didn’t have a plan. He didn’t know what was next. In a way, that was the most liberating thing in the world. In other ways, it induced more anxiety than Ben knew how to handle.

“That’s okay,” Rey reassured him. 

She took a step closer to him on the balcony, and suddenly Ben could smell the sweet soap she’d used to clean up after the battle. It suited her, though he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was she smelled like. Berries, maybe? Or flowers. Maybe both.

Whatever it was, it sufficiently distracted him.

Rey cleared her throat to bring his attention back to her, and when he did, he looked flustered. He was flustered. She’d caught him getting distracted by her. It was embarrassing — this wasn’t the kind of person he was.

But it did strike an idea in him. Something stupid and reckless, something wholly unlike what he’d ever done or said before.

“I think I just want…”

He trailed off, trying to figure out how to say it. How _should_ he say it? Blunt and honest? Subtle and confusing? Somewhere in-between? Rey raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. “You want?”

“I want you…”

Again, Ben trailed off. Usually he was so good with words, suave enough to get whatever he wanted in a smuggling deal. But now, with Rey… things were different.

“You want me…” Rey pressed, eager for his answer.

Finally, Ben sighed in defeat. 

“I want you.” 

Rey was quiet, and Ben felt foolish. But he’d said it, and he wanted her to know. There was no going back, so he might as well be completely, one-hundred percent honest.

“That’s it. I want _you_.”

Rey’s eyes sparkled as she gazed up at him, a bright smile on her face. He wished desperately that he knew what she was thinking — if he felt so inclined, he could probably take a peek in her mind and find out — but this was one thing Ben wanted to do right. He’d done a lot of things in life that he wasn’t proud of, but when it came to Rey, he didn’t want to be that guy.

He wanted to be more than the failed Jedi, more than the less-successful Solo smuggler. However that would manifest, Ben wasn’t sure yet, but something in him told him that becoming that better person started with Rey.

“That’s good,” Rey said softly, stepping closer to him on the balcony. They were toe to toe once more, like they’d been that night in the cockpit of the _Falcon_. She smiled up at him, warm and bright. “That’s really good. Because… I want you, too.”

Ben’s gaze stayed fixated upon Rey’s, standing in disbelief at the thought that she could actually want him in return.

But he’d learned long ago that Rey didn’t do or say anything unless she meant it. She wouldn’t give him a chance unless she wanted to, and that settled him. Reassured him. Left Ben feeling relief that going out on a whim hadn’t ended terribly.

“That’s… good.”

He winced at how stupid the words sounded. But Rey wasn’t shying away from him. She’d brought a hand up to rest on his shoulder, and one of his hands found her waist. He still touched her gingerly, like she might change her mind, but one look into her eyes and he knew it was foolish to worry. She looked so earnest, so sure of herself, that Ben knew he had nothing to worry about.

Deep down, he felt at peace, at _home_ with this woman.

Rey left Ben feeling like he belonged. He didn’t need a place, just a person, and he suddenly felt the relief and companionship and comfort that he’d been lacking for so long. 

And then, just like that night on the _Falcon_ , they leaned towards each other. Their noses bumped, and Ben could feel Rey’s smile against his mouth as their lips met once more. The whole galaxy stopped as they held each other, the comfort and companionship between the two washing over them, overwhelming them, reassuring them that they’d found their person, their home.

They’d found each other, and now they never, ever had to be alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at armltagehux.


End file.
